KING’S ROAD C26 (165)

Our picture opens to an explosion of pyro from the entrance stage as a clear shot looking down the entrance ramp comes into full focus. “Fox on the Run” plays throughout the Staples Center, as we are live from Los Angeles, California. The fans here have filled out the Staples Center, desperate for some entertaining wrestling in this city. They chant, and cheer, for a while as a camera catches different signs throughout the audience. You already know what this bit is, by now.

TOMMY GOT IN

WE BORROWED
OUR NAME

MY SISTER
RETWEETED THIS

PIZZA TIME

Slowly, the camera creeps down the entrance ramp, looking from left to right at the crowd in attendance and zooming in to various signs held throughout the packed crowd. We also catch a glimpse at some of the new King’s Road signings. Joseph White sits by Jae-Yun Sun, the two don’t seem very comfortable being near each other. On the other side of the ring, we see Logan Traeger and Natalie Dalton! Both look excited to be here, and get a nice reaction from the crowd. Down at the announcers’ booth, Steve Johnson and Vinny Vassa wait patiently before being given their queue to kick things off.

JOHNSON: ”Welcome folks! We’re here LIVE at the Staples Center, another night of King’s Road action in store for you all!”

VASSA: ”Ugh, I’m starting to get tired of this. Too much travel, you think this brand would spring for another set of commentators or something.”

JOHNSON: ”Don’t be grumpy, Vinny. We’ve got a great night of action in store for us all!”

VASSA: ”I don’t really think it’s that great, Chapter Twenty-Five came and went, and we have some new champions. Lauryn Wolfe is the Internet Champion, that’s cool I guess. BUT the biggest story coming out of the last chapter, Jett Wilder!”

JOHNSON: ”Excited for his win?”

VASSA: ”I’m excited for this pizza party! If we get a pizza party with every new King’s Road Champion, I’ll be a happy camper. Jett has me in his corner this week.”

JOHNSON: ”Well, Jett certainly has a lot of explaining to do. We saw the debut of Neriah Holst and Jayson Wave at Chapter Twenty-Five. These two came in, and basically gave Jett Wilder the championship!”

VASSA: ”Wow, way to discredit our new champ like that. Give Jett a break, Steve. He’s finally done it! He’s climbed to the top of the mountain, overlooking everyone on this roster now. Jett is the MAN, plain and simple.”

JOHNSON: ”But Vinny-”

VASSA: ”But nothing! Jett won, end of story!”

JOHNSON: ”Well, he’s got a big target on his back now. Malik Fox is gunning for his rematch, and Kaelan Laughlin in next in line!”

VASSA: ”When you’re at the top you’re going to have a target on your back. Jett knows this, he understands this.”

JOHNSON: ”Well, our main event should put a lot of that to rest. Malik Fox will team with the new Internet Champion, and Kaelan Laughlin. Certainly an interesting dynamic there, as they face Jett Wilder, Neriah Holst and Jayson Wave.”

VASSA: ”Speaking of teams, it seems there’s a power gap now that Ace Baldwin has left King’s Road. The Standard might be in tatters now, after Chapter Twenty-Five.”

JOHNSON: ”Unfortunately, it seems so, but Jay Gallagher and Graham Gosch have a tag team match tonight to possibly get them back on track.”

VASSA: ”Nevermind that shit, I’m wondering what Cartier is gonna do about her current situation. She never lost the title!”

JOHNSON: ”You’re right, but it seems her place in that title hunt has been put on hold. Damien Miri, Noris Cranley and Mitsu Shimada are all in position to get a shot at Lauryn Wolfe next! Cartier might just have to wait and see what happens. Lots of things happening tonight though!”

VASSA: ”You’re right, we have no time to waste. Bring out the pizzas!”

Coming into the ring we find ourselves greeted by a rather well decorated set up fit for a celebration. The floor is covered in red velvet. Standing in the ring is a clear rip off of Chuck E Cheese, not able to afford the real one. This one slightly more creepy. And on a set of tables is pizza boxes as far as the eye can see. More than could ever possibly be eaten. The fans know exactly what is coming now as “Blessings” by Big Sean hits and in what may be a rare occurence, the entire crowd pops. Though never known as the biggest fan favorite due to his at times less than morale decisions. However if there is one place that he will always have support its Los Angeles, his proud home.

POWERS: ”Please stand and rise for the new King’s Road Champion…From Los Angeles, California…JETT WILDER!”

This elicits another big pop as the city gets a shout out, as exploding out from the back with the belt fastened around his waist is the champ himself. Decked out in a pair of baggy gold boxing shorts, as well as a matching golden vest. Storming to one side of the ramp holding his arms up high in the air. Than sprinting to the other side, to do the same all over again. Turning now to walk down to the ring, he pats his belt several times. There is no strange camera work here, this is not a Alexis promo. The cameraman keeps it steady.

VASSA: ”This young…well is he even young anymore? This man is our champion and gets to bring it home to Los Angeles!”

Jumping up into the ring, bouncing over the ropes as he jumps up onto the top rope hoisting the belt over his head. Jumping down and doing it again on the other side of the ring. Bouncing off he opens up one of the boxes of pizza, likely the only one production actually filled with pizza. Taking a whiff he gives a thumbs up to knock off Chuck E than walks across the ring grabbing up a mic. The fans continue to cheer before he can cheer, the hometown boy coming through. Finally they die down long enough for him to begin.

JETT: “Everyone gave up on me…everyone gave up on my career. They made fun of my career in 4CW. I was around for how long and only managed one title. They liked to rub it in, over and over again. How many times I failed when I got the big shot. I lost to Bronx when I got the chance to beat the best. I lost in how many 4CW Championship matches. I fell to Chris Madison in the biggest match of my career in this very arena. And eventually I became a joke, a cast off. I was in rehab. I got a DUI. I was good but I was never going to be great. The roster, my friends. They all thought I had peaked already, that my life was spiraling. My own boss Perry Wallace, never reached out. He moved on, just like all of 4CW. I was always going to be just a waste of talent. Another pretty boy, who ended up in rehab and never bounced back. That’s what they thought was going to happen….But here we are…”

Taking a moment to really let this all settle in, the celebration everything he could have ever wanted.

JETT: “I am here standing in my city, in my ring, as the King’s Road Champion. And I didn’t need any help to get it. I didn’t need my dad Frankie to pay off ref’s like he’s known to do. I didn’t need my mom to come in and help me out. I didn’t need a partner. I didn’t need anyone but myself. And here I am, the comeback kid. Coming back from all the adversity to defeat two of the companies biggest names in Ace and that other guy. And I did it fair and square! I dominated those two men! And I am the champion! Los Angeles, we did it!”

Hoisting the belt proudly up in the air yet again in one arm, strutting around the ring with pride. A position that he honestly didn’t know he could get to after all the issues he had the past year or two.

JETT: “This isn’t just about me though this is a celebration for all of us. We are going to hand out these pizzas the crowd because we all deserve to celebrate. King’s Road has taken the next step with me as the champion. This is a celebration because this is just the start. I am going to be the champion for a very…very…long time! So LA, let’s party!”

Throwing up the belt one last time for good measure as he strolls around the ring, full of pride. The homecoming king of King’s Road. The party just getting started here in Los Angeles tonight.

We cut to the backstage area, to avoid seeing Vinny Vassa stuff his fat face with pizza. Thankfully we see Gareth Prescott! Gareth stands there, in his office, as he looks into the camera. Gareth doesn’t look stressed, and greets us all with a grin.

PRESCOTT: ”Hello, folks! Just wanted to thank you all for your support lately. King’s Road keeps growing, and it’s all because of you!”

Gareth takes a moment to pause. Mainly for the audience to react.

PRESCOTT: ”Now, I don’t want to waste too much time. I need to address some things that have happened lately. It seems that there are some issues, and I’d like to address them right now.”

Another pause, shorter one from before.

PRESCOTT: ”First off, I want to congratulate Kaelan Laughlin for her win at Chapter Twenty-Five. I’d like to clear up some things, people were surprised that she was allowed to choose her shot against Jett Wilder. I felt like this was a good option after her win, an unfortunate oversight on my part. I’d like to extend this courtesy to any other future contenders. From now on, in King’s Road, if you win a Contenders match and you’d like to take your shot at a later date …please, by all means! Let us know, and we will set up the match for you. This brings in a nice mystery for the champions, and keeps them on their toes. Not only that, but it allows us to properly hype up these championship matches! Everyone comes out a winner, that way.”

Gareth clears his throat, moving onto another topic.

PRESCOTT: ”I would like to address an issue with our former champions, next. It seems that we have one champion who was definitely screwed out of his championship. With that, I’d like to say that Malik Fox will absolutely get another chance at the King’s Road Championship.”

The crowd certainly cheers this news, while somewhere Jett Wilder looks on in fear possibly. Maybe he’s too busy to listen, who knows?

PRESCOTT: ”Malik was a great champion for us, and deserves another chance at getting his title back. Kaelan obviously is the number one contender, though. It will be her choice to when she takes her shot, but Malik will be getting his soon enough. At Chapter Twenty-Seven Jett Wilder will defend his title against Malik.”

Another positive reaction from the audience.

PRESCOTT: ”Finally, there is another former champion who’s been raising eyebrows on social media. Cartier still claims to be the Internet Champion, and I’d like to shutdown any rumors about her status as champion. Cartier is in no way, of any form, the King’s Road Internet Champion. That championship belongs to Lauryn Wolfe, she is one hundred percent the Internet Champion. However, since Cartier was stripped of the title this doesn’t mean she is out of consideration for a shot. She did never lose the belt, so depending on her actions over the next few shows I will consider something. I will consider an opportunity for her to face Lauryn Wolfe, for the King’s Road Internet Championship. Now, this may coincide with the winner of the headline match tonight. That’s up to them, and Cartier’s actions over the next few shows.”

Gareth smiles at the camera, finishing up his segment here.

PRESCOTT: ”Well, that’s it! I hope you all enjoy the show tonight! Speaking of, I think we’re about to get started. Enjoy watching Tommy Knox take out the trash, folks!”

With that we cut to ringside.

OPENING MATCH
TOMMY KNOX VS. REGINALD DAMPSHAW III

Judging by the speed it took Reginald to make it down to the ring you would think he was literally wearing a full diaper, and not the metaphorical kind for when folks get upset online but an actual diaper underneath his attire filled to the brim with shit. That’s what Reginald was. Who would have thought someone from Boardwalk would block his opponent on social media, and the promotion he is signed to, just for some friendly banter on social media. Really, it was friendly. You can go back and look for yourself. But here we are and there is Reginald, standing in his own piss with a mouth full of crooked teeth more over than kingdom could ever imagine. On the other side of the ring we find Tommy Knox. Who let this bum in the building? It’s one thing for Ana to finally let Tommy in but now 4CW follows the trend? While Hudson or Gareth or even Dave’s ghost may have signed him, we can probably give props to Elijah Carlson in the long run. He’s the real homie after all. There was a match, let’s not get off topic. Although Dampshaw’s diaper may have been full that night, he at least possessed some sort of wrestling skill as he quickly gained control of things in the early moments after the sound of the bell. Suplexes, so many suplexes. Too many to name in fact but within a matter of minutes we probably witnessed Dampshaw connect with half of them known to man. He was good like that, but his shit did in fact stink. Going for another of the vertical variety, things took a slight turn in momentum for Dampshaw as Knox slipped from his hold and dropped to his feet behind him. Spinning around instantly, Dampshaw knew Knox was standing behind him. However, the headbutt that was thrown in his direction was unexpected. Stumbling backwards to ropes, Dampshaw remained on his feet just long enough to bounce off and fall forward into Knox’s arms before being lifted into the air and planted to the canvas with a sit-out spinebuster.

You thought his diaper was full before? You hadn’t seen anything yet as Dampshaw popped back up to his feet, throwing a tantrum in the ring. He stomped his feet, shed a few tears in frustration, but made his point. He was a tittybaby both in and out of the ring. His mom was probably a hoe as well but that’s besides the point. Charging straight for Knox, Reginald threw his arms forward rapidly as he swung out of control. Throwing both hands up in defense, Knox pressed them against Reginald’s face, even managing to jam a thumb in his eye that was unnoticed by the official. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, call it what you want but the kicks were a plenty. Targeting Reginald’s knees and thighs, Knox connected with each and every kick as he backed Reginald towards the corner. Quickly stepping past Reginald and positioning himself behind him, Knox wrapped him up and lifted him off his feet before slamming him into the turnbuckle with a German Suplex. Reginald wasn’t so quick to get up this time, but Knox was. Walking with a bad limp around the ring, Knox grabbed his CCAAWWKK and acted like a former retarded 4CW employee that’s now turned sensitive crybaby. Kind of like Reginald minus the former 4CW employee part, but exactly like another former legend by the name of Freedumb. E X A C T L Y. Eventually Reginald began to push himself up to his feet which grabbed Knox’s attention. Unlike some people, he can stop being a retard on the spot. Not giving Reginald another second to recover, Knox immediately rushed in with a swift attack, connecting with two right kicks to Reginald’s thigh before following up with a left kick to his stomach, forcing Reginald to buckle over. Wrapping an arm around Reginald’s head, Knox then fell back, pulling Reginald down with him and planting him head first to the mat with a DDT. Reginald’s body flipped entirely over, landing on his back with his arms stretched out to the sides. Climbing the nearby corner, Knox looked over the crowd for a short moment, just long enough for a fan to connect with a piece of balled up paper to the head. Turning to face Reginald, Knox then went airborne as he leaped away from the corner before coming down and connecting with his American Highlife (Frog Splash)! He hooked the leg and that was all she wrote.

ONE
.
.
TWO
.
.
THREE!!!

DING!!! DING!!! DING!!!

“Devil’s Door” played throughout the building as Knox shortly celebrated his debut win in King’s Road. Spotting the piece of paper that hit him upside the head early, he picked it up before opening it. Rolling it into what appeared to be a marijuana football cigarette, he kneeled down beside Reginald. After placing it in Reginald’s mouth, he held his head up from the mat as the camera focused with his final words following.

KNOX: “LIGHT THAT SHIT UP RRRAAAWWRR!!!”

WINNER: Tommy Knox via Pinfall (11:12)

PRESCOTT: “So, do we have a deal?”

It is not the exquisite, Overlook Lodge-esque study chamber that doubled as an office that we last saw Astro Clyde in. Rather, a more modest desk-and-leather chair standard for the more modest Gareth Prescott’s bidding. Clyde, also not seated on a toddler’s potty, seems to be in much better spirits than the last time he was face to face with a “superior.”

CLYDE: “We have a deal! In exchange for me dropping the defamation and duress suit against Hudson, I get my old contract back! This is all I wanted, sir. To be a Neptunian able to experience justice on the planet he’d eventually like to call home. Once the paperwork processes, that is.”

The Milky Waif eagerly spins the contract around to face him and signs it with a series of shapes and symbols: his designated “authentic space name that cannot be pronounced by an Earth tongue.” Gareth, now having over a month to become accustomed to this demented idiot, smiles and retrieves the document. He places it into his desk drawer under a file marked “CYA” and promptly shuts the door.

PRESCOTT: “And once again, I apologize for the trouble and confusion. Even though I had technically sent out a staff-wide email with the subject line ‘HUDSON HUGHES DOES NOT HAVE ANY REAL AUTHORITY TO DO ANYTHING HERE IN KING’S ROAD WITHOUT MY CONSENT’ beforehand…”

CLYDE: “It went into my Space Spam folder. Stupid Microsoft Outlook. A highly outdated technology, if you ask me. Plus I can’t read.”

PRESCOTT: “Why am I not surprised? Anyway, now that this matter has been settled, can you please talk to the crew to ensure we don’t get a repeat of the technical difficulties that happened a few weeks back? I mean, everyone loved Ernest Scared Stupid, but I think it’s time to let the soul of Jim Varney rest once and for all.”

AC Spacer scratches his chin, mulling over the request.

CLYDE: “Mr. Prescott, I don’t know if that’s going to be easy. E.R.N.E.S.T. is not in my control. They have evolved well beyond the bounds of their intent. Some would even say that they merely used my plight as a pawn for their own personal gain! As if I would be naive and stupid enough to go along with it!”

PRESCOTT: “Um, well…you kinda did…”

CLYDE: “Oh, yeah. You’re right. Well, shoot a mile!”

Clyde stands at attention and looks Gareth directly in the eye. Although Gareth can’t really tell, because he can’t see Clyde’s eyes through his elaborate mask.

CLYDE: “I know the brainchild behind this operation, sir. And while I cannot promise success, I will use my powers of power to convince him to put a stop to this madness.”

The Dollar Store Starboy grins as he slightly tugs down the waistband of his tights to reveal his horrible plastic toy ray gun. He then turns without comment and exits the office.

PRESCOTT: “Great. Back-to-back shows with the threat of gun violence. The Congresswoman is going to be all over my ass again for this one…”

LISA SELDON & KENNY LOVETT VS. GRAHAM GOSCH & JAY GALLAGHER

Graham Gosch stands in the ring, watching as Kenny Lovett receives a barrage of praise and appreciation from the crowd. Graham takes umbrage to this, and immediately clobbers Kenny with a Running Lariat! Graham takes control, early, as he beats Kenny into his team’s corner. Jay Gallagher looks eager to get in, but Graham doesn’t seem to want to make the tag. The crowd boos as Graham finally relents, tagging in his partner. Graham watches, as Jay begins to go to work. He beats on Kenny in the corner, as the official steps in to make sure that Kenny is doing okay. He gives Jay a warning, who doesn’t seem to respond very well to the instructions given to him. Graham watches on, in annoyance. Lisa tries getting Kenny up, and to their corner, cheering for him. It seems to work, as Kenny gets back up to his feet, connecting with an Enziguri Kick to Jay Gallagher! Gallagher goes down hard, as Graham watches on. Kenny finally makes the tag, as Jay Gallagher goes to the outside. Lisa follows, beating down Jay as the two brawl outside of the ring. Lisa drags Jay into the ring, continuing to pummel him for his choices here tonight. She doesn’t allow Jay a moment of rest, as she uses her striking skills to keep him down. A running dropkick to the side of his head gets a loud reaction from the audience, but the pinfall doesn’t get the three count. Lisa works over the right arm of Jay, using stomps and an armbar to keep him grounded. Lisa looks over to her partner, who has fully recovered. The crowd cheers, as Kenny makes his way into the contest! Kenny grabs Jay, lifting him up and into a Stalling Vertical Suplex. The crowd is amazed, as Kenny keeps Jay Gallagher lifted in the air for a decent moment of time. It’s very impressive, I doubt Graham Gosch could even do something like that. That’s probably why he looks super annoyed standing in his corner.

Jay soon begins to fight back though, backing Kenny up into a corner. He sends him to the other corner, but Kenny uses his momentum to backflip over a charging Jay! Jay turns, and eats an STO Backbreaker! Kenny follows this up with a Baseball Slide, but Jay is able to kick out of that too! The crowd cheers en masse for Kenny, as Kenny again works over Jay’s arm. Graham watches, as Jay continues to take the brunt of the punishment in this match. Kenny attempts a Frog Splash, but Jay moves at the last moment! With Kenny down, Jay is able to tag back in! Graham hesitates, but eventually gets into the ring as he looks over to his partner. Graham knocks Kenny down with a Clothesline. He follows up, taking charge and hammering Kenny with a European Uppercut. Graham follows that up with a Full Nelson Slam into his team’s corner! The crowd boos, as Kenny is once again taking a beating. Lisa calls for the tag, as Graham looks on. Graham looks back over to his partner, and tags him back in. Jay looks confused, yelling at Graham to finish what he started. Graham stands there, and CLOBBERS JAY WITH A RIGHT HOOK! Jay Gallagher collapses to the mat, as Graham leaves his corner and heads to the back! The crowd cannot believe it, The Standard has imploded here tonight! Kenny finally makes his way over to Lisa, who charges in! She wastes no time, a flurry of offense is capped off with a Killa-cana-rama! With their opponent in a bad way, Lisa calls for Kenny to get into the ring. Kenny stands by the corner, as Lisa climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Standing on Kenny’s shoulders, she leaps off and connects with a Frog Splash for the win!

WINNER: Lisa Seldon & Kenny Lovett via Pinfall (11:47)

WILLIAM LYONSVS. JOHNNY AMAZING

We kick this bout off with Lyons teasing Johnny in a test of strength and Johnny doesn’t back down. He reaches his hands through, but as soon as he does Will practically drives him into the mat. Will even tried to pin Jonny this way but only got a one count because Johnny bridged and hit Will with a knee to break the hold. Johnny shook his hands out and actually challenged Will again, but Johnny was only baiting the big man in and when he raised his hands he teed off with some stiff kicks before using the ropes for momentum to hit a knee to the chin! Will didn’t budge, in fact he smiled. He told Johnny to try it again. Johnny let loose with kicks to his massive legs then off the ropes again and a diving forearm – OW! Johnny takes an open hand chop to the face!?! He falls on the mat and Will gets to a knee repeatedly chopping Johnny Manchester with downward open palm slaps! Johnny writhes in pain after each one until Will picked him up and whipped him into the corner. Will have chase quickly behind him which would prove to be a mistake when Johnny runs up the turnbuckle PARKOUR style and hits a moonsault on Will for a two count!

Will would escape the ring, but not for long as Johnny went after him with a tope suicida! BUT WILL CAUGHT HIM!?! Will drives Johnny into the ring post before power slimming Johnny to the floor! Will admires his work sliding into the ring and waiting for the referee to count to 9 before Johnny gets in! Will savagely chops Johnny into the corner again rattling his damn bones! Will backs up and hits a massive YAKUZA KICK – NO! Johnny ducked it! Johnny tees off AGAIN with kicks and strikes before scaling the corner where Will is stuck, slapping him and hitting a flip over Blockbuster! Johnny only gets a two count as Will throws Johnny off and to his feet to kick out! But Johnny hits a standing shooting star press for “FREE SAIL” and another two count! Will tossed Johnny again. He’s beside himself but he’s no choice but to keep going and this time it’s a leg drop. And another. And another. And another?

And another. Good god Johnny isn’t stopping! He’s leg dropping Will straight to hell. He keeps going and the fans are cheering him on until he’s practically out of breath and slows down leaning on the ropes smiling at the crowd- OH GOD. Will sits up and looks at Johnny and takes the smile from his soul. Johnny goes off the ropes and clotheslines Will sliding but he doesn’t budge. Core strength, folks. Will roars like a lion as he gets to his feet but here comes Johnny with a basement forearm – NO! Will lunged forward with a headbutt! He goes off the ropes and catches Johnny with a spear that nearly sends him through the ropes! Will tries for the pin but Johnny got his foot on the bottom rope! Will roars again dragging Johnny to the middle of the ring and lifting up his near lifeless frame into a standing rear naked choke! It’s “NAP TIME” for Johnny as he flails his legs wildly trying to break the hold! But he doesn’t and as he goes lifeless the referee checks to see if he’s out. He raises his arm once and it drops. He raises it a second time and…. It drops. The referee lifts Johnny’s arm a third time and inevitably like we all expected it….

WAIT IT DIDN’T DROP!?! Johnny’s arm nearly fell but it lifts back up and he’s come back to life! Will doesn’t care for the crowd trying to cheer for Johnny out of the hold and he drops him to his feet before locking in the pumphandle and lifting him up for the ‘LYONS ROAR’ -WAIT! Johnny slips out the back! He kicks Will and drops to his knees and gives him the finger and the fun taunt, never seen that before, and hits a ‘BLANK POINT’ beautiful disaster kick! ‘AMAZING BOMBER’ snapmare driver! Lyons tries getting back up, but Johnny is right there to cover him for the pin, and the victory!

WINNER: Johnny Amazing via Pinfall (14:24)

The scene cuts backstage in the halls of the Staples Center where we find Tommy Knox talking to a member of the medical staff on site. What is that he’s wearing? Is that a “Tommy Got In” t-shirt? Yes it is actually. Custom made and the only one in its existence because whoever else would pay for this would be an absolute retard There probably is another one though. Wouldn’t be surprised if Elijah Carlson was mailed one but that’s anyone’s guess. Back to the point! He was talking to medical staff, with a sincere look of concern on his face.

KNOX: “I’m serious! You need to check her out before her match later on tonight. Like pronto!”

MEDICAL STAFF: “Cartier?”

KNOX: “Jesus fuckin’ Christ do you even understand English?! Yes!”

MEDICAL STAFF: “For HIV?”

KNOX: “For full blown fuckin’ AIDS!”

MEDICAL STAFF: “There’s not enough time to perform a test for that on such short notice.”

KNOX: “You better make time because when Tommy gets in later on tonight, I’m not tryin’ to catch the bug because some loud mouth cottage cheese ass hoe gave it to Ana in a match!”

MEDICAL STAFF: “I think you’re over exaggerating here. Maybe you should use protection.”

KNOX: “Maybe you should go fuck yourself.”

That’s all it took for them to walk away, leaving Tommy all by himself in his state of worry for the mother of his children.

KNOX: “Wait a second!”

MEDICAL STAFF: “Contact us when there’s a true medical emergency.”

He kept walking away, not even looking back to Tommy as he responded.

KNOX: “THIS IS A TRU–fuck it. Walk away but when someone dies after comin’ in contact with Cartier that’s on you chief.”

Knox waves the man off, even throwing up a middle finger although it will go unnoticed. Turning the opposite direction, he began walking down the hall, minding his own business. Why is the camera still tagging along? Who fucking knows but it is. Finally coming to his destination, he brushes off his shirt to make shirt it’s crisp and clean. There was a door to his right and in the smoothest way possible, he propped a hand against the wall, leaning huis weight onto it as he softly knocked with his other hand.

After a minute or two passes, Ana Valentine opens the door with a slight lift of her brows, looking him over she tries to hide her smile. Ana shakes her head and leans into the door jam herself.

VALENTINE: “Who were you yelling at? I heard you all the way down the hall…”

KNOX: “I’m just lookin’ out for your safety. Apparently there’s not enough time to perform certain tests so please be careful later tonight against the thot. Can’t have you catchin’ anything she’s carryin’.”

He looks down to his shirt with a smile before looking back to Ana’s eyes.

KNOX: “What you think, baby? Want me to have one made for you?”

Her gaze follows his and as she reads the shirt she lets out a small laugh, shaking her head at him with a click of her tongue.

VALENTINE: “So you mean you were out here making trouble… Why am I not even a little bit surprised? You’re right though, lord only knows what I could catch from her. Hygiene is apparently lost on youth which is, disturbing to say the very least.”

She brings her eyes up to meet his with a small shrug.

VALENTINE: “I want to pretend to be offended by it but, it’s actually all the more endearing you’re so proud soooo; sure if you get it made I’ll wear it.”

KNOX: “Can’t make any promises that it will stay on for long though.”

He looked down the hall but the medical staff was nowhere to be seen. Turning back to Ana, he placed a hand on her hip as a serious look of concern came across his face.

KNOX: “I can promise you that I was makin’ nnooooo trouble whatsoever. I just want to make sure you’re in full health after tonight’s match. I can’t raise these kids alone. And what if you did get something from her and then passed it along to me later tonight when…”

He looked back down to his shirt once more with a smile on his face, pointing at the letters with his other hand.

KNOX: “I’m a family man now and just lookin’ out for what’s best for mine.”

With a chuckle she pushes him back a half step and shakes her head.

VALENTINE: “Only one catching anything tonight is Cartier when she cops a beating, no need to worry about after. Just make sure you’re reserving as much energy as possible for that part, hm?”

She frowns and shakes a finger at him in a playfully scolding way.

VALENTINE: “And stop picking on the medics, it isn’t very nice!”

He shrugs his shoulders with a look of innocence in his eyes.

KNOX: “I didn’t pick on anyone. I asked him a legitimate question and then he gave me attitude. He said I should use protection! I am shook right now.”

Stretching his arms, he steps back towards her.

KNOX: “You goin’ to let me in? The room that is. You can beat me up some if you need to warm up before your match in a little while. She may be dirty, but at least they gave you an opponent that didn’t block you after sayin’ hello.”

She steps back from the doorway to let him in, shaking her head as she does.

VALENTINE: “At least you didn’t have to have a two hour conversation about the purpose of a question mark, honestly, a block would have been a blessing. My tolerance for stupidity is low as it is and I have to waste my precious time dealing with paste eating, slack jawed morons? It’s actually kind of insulting…”

Ana turns back to him and rests her hands flat on his chest with a smile.

VALENTINE: “I might still take you up on the smacking you around a little though, depends how you behave between now and the match.”

KNOX: “I’m a good boy. I promise I won’t go after the white people on twitter. We need to get you ready to help her put her foot in her mouth tonight. If you want, I can send her DM that says good luck so she can talk about it during your match the entire time.”

VALENTINE: “If you ever give her a reason to speak to me again you’re gonna be nursing blue balls til the twins are in college…”

He holds up his hand as if trying to calm her down. Extending his index finger, he holds it over her lips before responding.

KNOX: “I will have you know that I have called to check in on our family like seven times since we’ve been here. You and I both know that last part is impossible. I see the way you look at me!”

Ana smirks and lifts her eyebrows with a cautioning tone, biting at the air between her lips and his finger.

VALENTINE: “Do you really want to test my resolve? Considering how long it took you the first time?”

With a quick shake of her head she runs her hands up his chest and rests them on his shoulders.

VALENTINE: “More importantly, after tonight I don’t have to deal with that level of stupidity for what is, hopefully, a very long time. And THAT makes me very, very happy.”

KNOX: “Watch me get booked against her at the next show.”

He rolls his eyes briefly before leaning his head forward and resting it against hers.

KNOX: “We’ll worry about that later. Tonight is all about you. You’re goin’ to go out there and shut her up once and for all. And that’s only the beginnin’. I have big plans for this evenin’ after the show. It’s not often you get a night off from bein’ a mother.”

She smiles and relaxes a little with a slight nod.

VALENTINE: “You can tell me all about it… after we’re done here. Deal?”

KNOX: “Can’t tell you, that will just spoil the surprise. Now put that hoe in her place and let’s get out of here.”

The two stood against each other in silence for a short moment. Kicking his leg back, Knox connected with the door, slamming it shut and leaving the camera on the other side with nothing left to film as the scene slowly faded.

MELODY MARSHALL VS. ASTRO CLYDE

On paper this is was an odd one, but it started with the usual handshake from both competitors before Clyde and Melody exchanged taking advantage of an elbow collar tie up. Melody’s was slightly more aggressive and ended it by backing Clyde into the corner, but Clyde shot out of the corner causing Melody to whiff on lariat. He was headed straight for the ropes where he built momentum hitting a tilt a whirl into a headscissors takedown that left his teeth dry. Melody was up quick and back at it, but Clyde was off the ropes again this time hitting a shoulder tackle to Melody that he’d repeat a second time. He shrugged and went for a third, but Melody actually caught him and threw him over her head with a belly to belly suplex! BUT WAIT Clyde landed on his feet. He’s as surprised as you are, tbh. He wasn’t on his feet long as Melody hit a shining wizard for a quick two count! Melody tried to end it right away with an arm bar, but Clyde rolled out of it and to his feet where he hit a somersault splash and tried to moonwalk across Melody, but she grabbed his leg and locked in a single leg crab. She held onto it trying to slow down the luchadore but after a bit he found the ropes to break the hold and pull himself outside. Melody would follow him out but Clyde played possum and jumped to the guardrail and hit a moonsault landing onto Melody before sliding into the ring and begging the referee to count faster. Melody made it in at 7 and Clyde told the referee in his world that’s ten so he tries to call for the bell but Melody rolls Clyde up for a quick two count! He’d kick out and kip up to his feet pinning Melody by grabbing her legs and flipping his back onto Melody’s chest. After a two count Melody bridges up and hits a backslide on Clyde for two but he kicks out and hits a basement dropkick on Melody followed by that awful fucking dance he does that is borderline criminal.

Melody gets to her feet and the two go back and forth with a trademark luchador sequence of leap frog, hop over, matrix backbend evading their running opponent. Clyde would use the ropes on his turn for a springboard but eats a superkick from Melody in mid air! Melody pins Clyde for a two count and seems frustrated, but determined nonetheless. She lifts Clyde into the V-Trigger she calls “MORNING GLORY” but CLYDE GOUGES THE EYES! BEETLEGEUSE! Another eye Gouge! BEETLEGEUSE! A second eye gouge, I thought this guy was a fan favorite? HE FOLLOWS UP WITH ANOTHER EYE GOU-NO! Melody blocks it and runs off the ropes with a massive european uppercu-NO! CLYDE DUCKS IT! Drop toe hold! Clyde goes off the ropes and looks to finish the job…. Seriously another eye gouge?! Melody falls back holding her eyes! Clyde hits a standing moonsault double knee! MY GOD HE’S ‘OUT OF ORBIT’!! The crowd cheers, as Astro crawls over and covers Melody for the VICTORY TONIGHT!! DRINKS ARE ON US FOLKS, ASTRO CLYDE DID IT!

WINNER: Astro Clyde via Pinfall (09:24)

GREGG PEAKE VS. AOKIGAHARA ZOMBIE

The crowd seems happy to see both competitors, but immediately turn on Gregg after he takes a microphone to berate the crowd. He insults them all, and calls them all soyboys. I don’t know what that means, but he also implies that he should go and shoot Aoki to make this quick. Gregg then insults Asians in general, it’s really just a terrible showing by the former Pure Champion. Aokigahara Zombie doesn’t seem too happy over these remarks, and takes Gregg Peake by surprise! He attacks from the bell, catching him off guard. Peake can’t seem to get comfortable, as Aoki lays into him with forearms, kicks, and a Diving Crossbody from the top rope! The crowd is fully behind Aoki, as he continues the punishment for Gregg. Eventually, after a couple of minutes, Gregg rolls to the outside as he tries to catch his breath. Aoki connects with a running dive to the outside, taking Gregg out! The fans are ecstatic for this newcomer, already wanting to shut Gregg Peake up. The action stays on the outside, as Aoki continues to lay into Gregg with chops and forearm shots. Gregg tries his best to fight, but Aoki takes a drink from ringside and throws it into Gregg’s face! The crowd cheers loudly for this. He tries getting him back into the ring, but he overpowers him and sends him hard into the guardrail. It seems to have done some damage, as he holds his side. Gregg rolls into the ring, and back out to reset the count. He goes to work on Aoki, attacking his midsection with knee lifts. Another toss into the guardrail sends Aoki crashing to the floor, as the crowd boos Gregg Peake. He gives them an obscene gesture, and promptly throws a drink in a fan’s face! The crowd wants Aoki to get back into this match, but Gregg doesn’t let up. He brings him back into the ring, stomping away at Aoki. He slaps him into an Octopus Stretch, working out his newly damaged ribs.

Aoki looks to be in pain, but he tries to fight his way out of the hold. He claws at Gregg’s eyes, and almost manages to escape. Gregg is able to grab him again, Piledriving him into the mat! It’s a vicious piledriver, but Aoki is able to kick out! The crowd is fully behind him, but Gregg stops any hope with another octopus stretch. It’s a brief period of holds, as Gregg transitions around trying to find a way to make Aoki quit! The crowd chants for Aoki, as he tries to make a comeback. Aoki is able to get to the ropes, finally breaking the series of holds. Gregg lets go, but knows the damage is done. He picks Aoki up, who to his surprise unloads on him with a series of chops and forearms! Gregg knows he’s in trouble, as he tries to connect with another Piledriver, but Aoki slips out. He connects with a Double Axe Handle off of the top rope, after staggering Gregg! The crowd is hot again, as Aoki desperately tries to take control of the match. He ducks a clothesline, and counters with a Headbutt that allows him to connect with another Double Axe Handle! With Gregg in a bad way, and a series of close pinfalls in his favor, Aoki is ready to finish this match. Gregg tries to fight back, but Aoki puts him down with a Thunder Fire Powerbomb. The move rattles the ring, allowing for Aoki to lock in the Itai Claw! Gregg has nowhere to go, as he is forced to tap out!

WINNER: Aokigahara Zombie via Submission (10:24)

Backstage, Lauryn Wolfe can be seen seated on a bench with her head hung low. With the hoodie of her black sweatshirt covering her head, she lets out a sigh – though oddly enough, it wasn’t one full of nerves and anxiety as she was used to. It was more of an exalted feeling that resonated within her. Her lips twitched ever so slightly into a small smile.

WOLFE: ”It’s been two weeks since I became the Internet Champion, but it still feels like yesterday. I mean, I still get goosebumps just thinking about it, even if that’s admittedly a cliched thing to say. But the feeling…whew. Ain’t nothing played out about that.”

She chuckles, rubbing her arms as the memories flooded through her mind.

WOLFE: “But in spite of that, I haven’t lost sight of what’s important here. It’s one thing to win a title but it’s another to make sure that your reign is just as memorable as the moment you’ve captured gold. If some have you been following me since day one, you know it’s one of the biggest things that I harp on about wrestlers. No one’s going to give a shit about how many championships you’ve won in your career. You can’t be complacent about how padded your resume is if there’s no merit behind it. What’s your legacy? What did you do for the promotion you claimed to be your home? Who are the people that pushed you past your limits but you were still able to beat? There’s so much more to being a champion, and a lot of people seem to forget that. It’s why I don’t go around and talk shit about how I’m suddenly the best because that would be foolish of me. Actions will always speak louder than words, and that’s why this main event is important to me. This is a major test for me that I need to ace with flying colors. I need to set an example that I can lead King’s Road and be the best damn champion that this promotion has ever seen.”

A great deal of passion can be heard in her voice as she stood up; that old, aquantainted flame lighting up within her.

WOLFE: “And sure, there’s a lot going on with this match. So many interpersonal stories being crossed here. Jett’s broken a dry spell himself and is now the King’s Road champion. He likens himself to be a locker room leader; the team captain; the brightest star in his own little universe. Alongside him is Jason who’s looking to make a big impact and Neriah, the same man that screwed my teammate Malik Fox over at Chapter 25. Can’t forget about Kaelin who’s rising through the ranks and is ready to solidify her worth as a wrestler that should be taken seriously. There’s so much to gain and so much to lose in this match, but you know what? I’m not fazed in the slightest.”

She gave a nonchalant shrug to the camera.

WOLFE: “Oddly enough, I’m not freaking out about the pressure that this match puts on me. It’s been a long time coming for me to prove myself in the ring when the stakes are this high. I don’t know what the other team is thinking, but I do know that Kaelin, Malik and I are ready for this moment. Kaelin’s ready to silence the critics once and for all, Malik’s ready to get his revenge, and me? Well, I’m ready to make sure that this new chapter for me begins on a good note. You can beat your asses on that.”

Her smile widens as she gives a nod towards the cameras. Cracking her knuckles, the Internet Champion leaves in preparation for her match.

Cartier walks down the hallway leaving her dressing area in the famed Staples Center on her way down to ringside. Her sequined ring gear glitters even in the minimal backstage lighting as the high ponytail in her extensions sways from side to side in rhythm with her stride. Halfway there though, as usual, she is caught up with by the seemingly omnipresent Gabe Hartman. She sees him coming and stops walking, drooping forward with capitulatory body language and letting out a loud groan.

CARTIER: ”God damn it. What’s yo homeless ass want now?”

HARTMAN: ”Cartier! I missed you too! Hey, real quick… you and Ana have been going at it pretty hard on social media this last couple weeks… where’s your head at as you head into the match?”

Cartier puts her hands on her hips and exhales loudly through her nose while staring off into the distance. After that, she pats her self vigorously on the head to soothe an itch on her scalp, then looks straight at the vagabond interviewer.

CARTIER: ”Where my head at? What you mean? My head where it’s always at… my head’s at winnin’ tonight and then the next night and then the next. That shit on Twitter don’t matter to nobody, especially me. That’s a damn game and we all playin’ the same bullshit. Oh you said this, she said this, screenshot this, whatever the fuck. It don’t mean a damn thing. What matter is when the bell ring I’m gonna knock Miss Thang on her flat skinny ass and get my hand raised at the end of the night, just like always. 4CW did what they needed to do, they punished me for acting a whole ass online, I respect it, I got no choice. Is what it is. They took my strap and they booked me against Hudson to try and teach me a lesson. I came out of all that just fine and now I’m on my way back on the right track. Tonight might be Chapter 26 for King’s Road but for Cartier it’s Chapter 2. Ana Valentine, shit, I ain’t even know nothin’ about her til we got booked. First time I even seent the girl was when they was gonna have Cass Baumer get her ass whupped by her. That ain’t somethin’ that’s gonna worry me. Neither is her win last chapter. She did good but she ain’t exactly dominate. Like she said herself it was a no-win situation anyways because Jae still kinda green and because it was her return match. Well, any rust she mighta did have then she needa make sure she ain’t got tonight because I ain’t got any. I’m pickin’ up right where I left off, rollin’ right back to championship gold, you feel me? So that’s where my head at. Dumbass.”

Gabe looks saddened a bit by the last muttered insult, but he plows ahead with his next question, which, for some reason, he has scribbled on a greasy Denny’s napkin.

HARTMAN: ”Um… some people think you might be looking past Ana since you keep engaging Genie Carlson and Lauryn Wolfe, or even number one contender to the King’s Road Title Kae Laughlin. What do you think about that?”

Cartier rolls her eyes dramatically at that and then scoffs, rubbing her manicured fingernails against the breast of her outfit to buff them up to their shiniest.

CARTIER: ”Listen. I ain’t basic like that. I been in too many fights to get cocky and overlook the bitch in front of me. Think about it like this… you homeless, you ride the bus sometime, right?”

HARTMAN: ”Oh yeah, all the time! Until they kick me off. It’s warmer on the bus than it is outside.”

CARTIER: ”Yeah… anyways… Ana Valentine, she the bus stop where I’m gettin’ on. She the start. I ain’t gonna get nowhere unless I take the first step, you know what I’m sayin’? Genie might be the next stop since we got somethin’ set up for after Fright Night, but I ain’t thinkin’ about the next stop, I’m thinkin’ about right now. Same with Lauryn. She the destination. I got more than one stop to get past before I get to her. We see each other and we know that shit’s gonna happen, but it ain’t today. Today’s Ana Valentine, and Ana Valentine’s what I been preparing for these past two weeks. I know she tough but I know I’m tough too. She got experience but I got youth and speed. Plus I know I want it more than she do. She got her a little family and some babies at home to think about. She don’t need this. This ain’t where her heart at. Way I see it, I’m doin’ her a favor. I can nip this little comeback of hers right in the bud and send her home to be a mommy. She can breastfeed them little babies with her fucked up fake titties and go back to spendin’ her time postin’ pictures of kids in between all the half naked pics she like to put up. She can get back in the kitchen for Tommy Knox. But me? I’m here to stay. I signed up for the long haul and I ain’t gettin’ off this bus tonight. You got anymore questions?”

HARTMAN: ”Yeah actually… Um…”

Gabe is interrupted when the sounds of Azealia Banks’ “212,” Cartier’s entrance music, starts to hum through the arena and the sounds of the crowd cheering echo down the hall.

CARTIER: ”Too damn bad, Gabe. Sis got work to do. See you at the next stop.”

Cartier raises her hand in her best ‘Bye Felicia’ dismissive wave, then saunters back off down the hallway towards the arena, leaving Hartman to stand in her wake once again.

CARTIER VS. ANA VALENTINE

Cartier came out swinging, hoping to show everyone (including the King’s Road staff) that she was not playing around. Ana Valentine was game, but it took a little while for her to get into the action. Cartier struck hard, and struck fast, stunning Ana Valentine early on with a sharp Headbutt. The attack swung the momentum in the early going, allowing for Cartier to have complete control. Cartier worked over Ana’s right arm, sending her hard into a nearby turnbuckle corner. Stomps, limb holds all came out of Cartier’s offense, and really showed a new focus for her in the ring. Cartier was determined to get herself back into title contention, after never losing the Internet Championship. A leaping Dropkick staggered Ana Valentine backwards, who still had yet to find a way to get herself involved in this match. Ana tried her best to stand her ground, but another Dropkick sent her tumbling out of the ring. Ana landed hard, and awkwardly on her right side. For a moment there was a bit of confusion, as Ana laid on the outside clutching her right arm. The tumble seemed to have damaged her arm even further, prompting Cartier to leave the ring. She smelled blood in the water, and quickly looked to attack. Ana did her best to fight Cartier off, attacking with her left arm. There wasn’t much she could do though, as Cartier swarmed all over her on the outside. It wasn’t until Ana was able to push Cartier, back first, into the nearby turnbuckle post that she finally caught a break. It looked like Cartier hit the post awkwardly, crumbling to the floor. It was here that Ana Valentine had a chance to take over. Instead, she opted to recover, getting herself back into the ring as Cartier laid on the outside. The officials tended to Ana Valentine, after checking on Cartier. Cartier had been getting to her feet, waving the official off. With the attention on her opponent, Cartier looked to try and recover as much as possible. Taking a deep breath, she looked to get back into the ring. She wasn’t expecting to be jumped from behind, though. Graham Gosch emerges from the crowd, pushing Cartier face first into the turnbuckle post! The crowd was stunned, as Cartier collapsed to the mat. The crowd booed his actions, as he rolled an unconscious Cartier back into the ring. By now the official was looking over, having missed the attack. Ana Valentine looked on, in confusion, but quickly noticed her opponent in a dire state. There was no way she was going to let this opportunity slip by. With her opponent down, and still stunned, Ana Valentine set herself up for a position to end this match. With Cartier barely able to get to her feet, Ana moves in and connects with the Valentine’s Bow! Cartier has no chance to react, being pulled to the mat face-first. Ana Valentine quickly covers her, sneaking away with the win tonight!

WINNER: Ana Valentine via Pinfall (07:11)

CLYDE: “Lex jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Your ass is mine.”

Oh, Astro Clyde! How fresh! Channeling Ed Rooney, our view shifts to an area high high above the Staples Center. When we’d last seen the Illegal Alien, he had vowed to put an end to the devious plot that E.R.N.E.S.T. had sworn to implement — a threat that would forever shut the doors of not only King’s Road, but the Corners Four as a whole! What that plot was, we aren’t really sure, as the person who was responsible for coming up with the idea was too busy tweeting about Arby’s without putting on an OOC tag or something equally as fucking useless.

The culprit in question stands at the edge of a 30-foot catwalk with only a single metal bar preventing them from tumbling over to the floor below. Clyde approaches him, pounding his fists into his hands like he’s a minor character in a Scorsese film. The accused leader of E.R.N.E.S.T. wears a black ski mask over their face, then shouts back in a deep, threatening voice.

E.R.N.E.S.T. LEADER: “It’s too late, Clyde. This was never about you. Now get out of here, lest you want to watch the world burn from this spectacular view.”

CLYDE: “I can’t let you do that. I won’t go down. Without a fight!”

Clyde draws his weapon. The toy ray gun is brandished at his hip like an old Western movie as he paces closer to the kingpin.

E.R.N.E.S.T. LEADER: “Hey. Put that away! Put that down! You don’t know what you’re doing.”

CLYDE: “I know exactly what I’m doing. Prepare to be VAPORIZED into SPACE DUST, vermin, or else surrender quietly!”

E.R.N.E.S.T. LEADER:
“No, seriously, don’t shoot. Don’t shoot!”

In a panic, the E.R.N.E.S.T. leader pulls off…her…mask, to reveal a familiar face. Throwing up her arms in defense, she pleads with Astro Clyde, knowing full well the brutal effects that the plastic gun holds.

CLYDE: “Lisa S.? L. Seldon? It…it was YOU all along?”

SELDON: “Yes, it was me. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

Clyde scratches his head, still confused at the revelation.

CLYDE: “You mean, you went through all this trouble just to help me get my pay grade back to the way it was? For me?”

Lisa shakes her head. Then nods her head. Then shakes her head again.

CLYDE: “Yes no yes?”

SELDON: “Precisely. Yes, it indirectly was for you, but no, it was more because I found out that weasel Hudson Hughes tried to use me for his own gain, but then I suppose yes it ended up being for you because we both had a vendetta to stamp out. Also, I thought it would be funny to get the production staff to put in a bunch of Ernest P. Worrell quotes during shows just to mess with everyone. Which it was.”

CLYDE: “Yeah, I didn’t really understand that part of it.”

SELDON: “Well, you’re from Neptune. And I assume if everyone there is on your intellectual level, people ironically liking Ernest is probably more of an Earth thing that you wouldn’t understand.”

CLYDE: “Huh?”

SELDON: “Never mind. The fact is that you caught me. And I’ll call off the mission, but on two conditions, Clyde.”

Clyde gives a snap point and a nod. It is desperately trying to come off as cool, but of course looks lame as hell. Lisa sighs, shrugging the gesture off.

CLYDE: “Name it, Earth Lisa.”

SELDON: “Number one, you owe me AUTHENTIC Big Dogs merchandise. I’m not the type of person whose feelings are easily hurt. But the fact that you not only tried to pass off bunk memorabilia…”

Lisa pauses, wiping a fake tear from her eye.

SELDON: “…but also SHOOT me with a ray gun when I called you out on it? Sure, it put me in a temporary coma, but it also put my heart in an emotional submission lock! The coma was worse, but still. So I need you to make it right.”

CLYDE: “I…I’m sorry, Lisa. I honestly didn’t know it meant that much to you. But far be it for me to NOT make a wrong a right! I will get you that Big Dogs apparel that is so rightfully yours. You have my word! Now, what’s the second condition?”

Lisa grins, peering down at the death-defying height below.

SELDON: “You have to let me throw you off of this thing. I’d prefer it be a back body drop, though, so I’m going to need you to take a running start.”

Clyde laughs nervously.

CLYDE: “Ha. But seriously, what’s the second condition?”

Seldon raises a brow.

CLYDE: “You…you’re joking, right?”

SELDON: “C’mon. It’s not THAT far. Plus, this footage is going to make my entrance reel like the fucking best one in wrestling. Everyone will be scared of me.”

CLYDE: “But I’ll disintegrate upon impact! My body cannot withstand that high of a fall!”

SELDON: “Sure you can. We’re FRIENDS now, Clyde. You can trust me when I tell you that you will not disintegrate upon impact after a back body drop off of a two-hundred foot high scaffold.”

Clyde looks down to the arena floor below. He gulps.

CLYDE: “Fine. But if I disintegrate upon impact, I’m going to be really upset with you!”

The Milky Waif takes off running into Lisa’s direction, who quickly puts herself into position…and we cut to another match!

THE CONGLOMERATE & DARRYL WALKER VS. #SWOLEPATROL & JASON MENTEZ

This match was chaos from the beginning. The referee tried to keep the men separated before the bell rang but as the Conglomerate motioned to their waist that those tag team titles belong to them Jason was mocking Darryl and asked him where his headass girlfriend was at. Darryl spit towards Jason and Jason threw the referee aside and went after D. This ignited the two tag teams to the do the same! Swole Patrol cleared the ring with Jason as the Conglomerate retreated and tried to gameplan but their partner for the night had another idea. He got onto the apron and tried to get into the ring when Jason told his partners for the night to use him like a lawn dart together and he took Darryl to the outside. The Conglomerate got into the ring and fought off Swole Patrol to send Truck and Vonn to the outside as well near Jason and Darryl brawling. Freddy stands on the middle rope pulling the top rope up allowing Nick to run and suicide dive through taking out the four men. They barely had time to get to their feet as Freddy climbed the turnbuckle and leaped off with a crossbody taking out the five men! The fans love it! The men all try to get to their feet, but Truck was already climbing tup to the apron. He looked at the ringpost and the fans were cheering him on, but he’s a hoss he doesn’t play that shit. He flexes and trust falls backwards into the group where Vonn catches him and tosses him into the group taking them all out again! Truck then rolls Fred in and the teams take their respective apron sides as Truck overpowers Fred cutting the ring in half. Fred tries to escape through the legs one time but Truck deadlifts him up to a german suplex and he rolls into the corner. He flexes towards Nik and Darryl and they couldn’t care less. Jason slaps Truck’s shoulder and tags himself in letting loose with stomps on Fred in the corner. Truck isnt a fan, but he gets out of the ring. Fred tries to roll to the apron to get away but Jason shows off his hoss size and deadlifts Fred up and over into a stalling suplex before dropping Fred. Truck is fucking fired up, he loves it. He gets Jason to actually flex and the crowd eats it up. Jason gets some serious air and drops a knee on Fred getting a two count. Fred finally got to his feet and managed to free himself up from Jason with rapid fire forearms and a series of stiff kicks. Fred tags Nik in and he hits a cannonball in the corner on Jason followed by his own near fall leaving Jason to tag out. Vonn eats all of Nik’s offense and effortlessly presses Nik over his head tossing him to the corner. Nik refuses to tag out and stubbornly gets up and charges after Vonn but he throws him up in mid air catching him in a bearhug ragdolling Nik around. Vonn yells at Fred and Darryl assuming Nik is on his way out but he fights back with an ear clap getting to his feet and hitting a CONGLOMERATE KICK!

Nik dives to his corner where Darryl takes the tag and now the hoss of this team is in the ring and takes Vonn down with a shoulder block. He fires into the corner and takes Truck out as well then trying to get his hands on Jason but he hops down from the apron and trips Darryl up grabbing his feet. Before he can capitalize Fred is running around the apron and hits a springboard moonsault taking Jason out! Darryl turns back towards the ring where Vonn hits him with a big boot that puts him over the ropes! Nik is in the ring now and hits a SPEAR on Vonn and he rolls to the outside! Nik talks trash, but Truck is in the ring and blindsides Nik with HARDBODY KARATE! Nik rolls to the outside now and Truck takes his time flexing before being lifted into the air with an atomic drop from Fred ‘YIKES!’ he hits the zigzag follow up! Fred taunts to the crowd with the trademarked Conglomerate hand gesture. The Conglomerate may be fine, but Fred isn’t ‘M TRAIN’ bullhammer elbow from Jason! Fred is out cold! Jason stands over him as the fans begin to stand and are on their feet in anticipation. Jason turns around slowly to see Darryl is in the ring. The two meet in the middle of the ring and Jason shoves Darryl, who returns the gesture. Jason and Darryl talk some trash before going to blows! The two don’t let up and throw big time hoss strikes back and forth fighting! Jason hits a HUGE forearm that stumbles Darryl and Darryl bounces off the ropes and seems to stumble a bit as Jason enjoys his forearm a bit too much and Darryl seems to fall but actually takes Jason’s knees out with a sliding tackle holding onto Jason’s leg and locking in the ‘GYPSY CURSE’ submission! Jason can’t believe he got caught! BUT HE’S NOT THE LEGAL MAN! Vonn drops a heavy elbow drop the back of Darryl’s head! He lifts Darryl up Truck is in the ring as well! Vonn whips Darryl into Truck who lifts him up and and hits the ‘END ROUND’ Oklahoma powerslam into the corner before handing Darryl off to Vonn for the ‘VONN BOMB!’ Vonn goes to pin Darryl, as Fred and Nik get on the apron to stop the pin. Before they can though TRUCK HITS THEM BOTH WITH A SUICIDE SPEAR, KNOCKING THEM OFF OF THE APRON!! There’s nobody to stop this pinfall from happening now!

WINNER: #Swolepatrol & Jason Mentez via Submission (13:45)

There was a great atmosphere for a young athlete who was on the verge of earning a contendership to potentially his first championship belt in his entire career. The young man who has been on a winning streak defeating credible athletes on the roster who are of championship caliber proving his worth. Inside the interior of the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California was a teenager dressed in full athletic wear of blackish color signature. Noris Cranley turned around to the camera with a smile on his face oozing confidence knowing that tonight was going to be his tonight.

CRANLEY: ”Fuck what anyone else has to say about me because I don’t give a damn. I might be the youngin’ on the entire roster but I don’t fight like one, I fight like a man and that’s what gotten me straight to this very moment in my career. I thrive on becoming the most legendary rookie creating opportunities for myself and tonight, I have the chance of earning my first championship through hard work and determination. I don’t care about the other guys because their story; You heard it all before and it’s an absolute joke. Treating this match without any care or ignoring the fact that a wildcard like me can simply push everything aside and take the dub in a blink of an eye.”

Noris chuckled. He turned his face away from the camera letting the florescent lights highlight his chocolate smooth skin and strong cheekbones. His brownish eyes returned to the camera lens as it slowly zoomed on his focused facial gestures resembling of an athlete ready to take it all.

CRANLEY: ”I’ve gone through shit while growing up and I might be young but I know about this world and the terrible things it can do to a person. For this night, I’m walking into a triple threat facing not one but two world caliber classed athletes whose names is not worth mentioning for I see them only as a stepping stone. When you are faced with a roadblock, you don’t sit back and let it hold you there in a stalemate; You go through that motherfucker without any fucking intentions of slowing down.

The 4CW Internet Championship?! Are you kidding me?! What makes you think I’m going to pass that opportunity up knowing I’ve been wanting a shot from 4CW Kings Road?! To show my gratitude, I’m going to beat them both within an inch of their broken fucking lives and prove that I can move on to beat Lauryn Wolfe and become the next 4CW Internet Champion for I am un-fucking-stoppable!”

The sheer determination from him forced him to leave the locker room slamming the door behind him on the way out.

KING’S ROAD INTERNET CONTENDERSHIP
MITSU SHIMADA VS. DAMIEN MIRI VS. NORIS CRANLEY

The three men stood still at the sound of the bell and gave the fans a good stare down. Noris got into a grappling position and inched towards Dame then back towards Shimada and the two men followed as they teased a three way elbow collar tie up but Shimada and Dame turned and stomped Noris into the corner. The two certainly haven’t formed a partnership, but at this point Noris couldn’t tell the difference as he was worked over to a slump in the corner. Shimada and Dame took turns charging the corner with a lariat and bicycle knee respectively. Noris stumbled out of the corner and ate a flapjack from Shimada that he tried to transition into an ankle lock, but Dame superkicked him and tried to pin Noris for only a one count! Noris rolled to the outside to catch a breath leaving Shimada and Dame to fight over Shimada trying to get a submission victory. An irish whip from Shimada turned into a hip toss basement dropkick and one count of his own on Dame, but as Dame rolled out of the ring Shimada circled his eye with his index finger and thumb taunting the crowd Noris Cranley was in mid air from the apron and hit a forearm! He quickly followed it up with a suicide dive to the outside colliding with Dame! Noris has the crowd LIT from an early moment. Shimada tried his own suicide dive, but Noris stopped with an enziguri kick, but when he got to the apron to capitalize Damien pulled his legs out from under him and Noris hits face first on the apron! Damien slides into the ring and added another bicycle kick to Shimada for a two count broken up by Noris FLYING in again!

Noris was showing a fighting spirit refusing to stay down. He pulled Damien off the pin by his hair and hit a quickly half nelson suplex followed up by a standing moonsault and count of two. Shimada was there to pull him off and drag him across the ring to the middle of the ring before landing a shooting star press but only got a two of his own! At this point the crowd was on fire! The non stop pace slowed down and gave the fans time to clap and let us know ‘this-is-wrest-ling’ Dame got up first and told the fans to shut up, clearly this is wrestling, he started throwing forearms to Shimada who returned them – but when Noris got to his feet he ran by and missed a double forearm attempt from the both of them! He used the middle rope in a rebound moonsault taking both men out when he landed and nailed a double reverse DDT! Noris tried to pin them both, but only got a two count. He got to his feet pumping his fist and called his shot telling the fans it’s ‘GAME OVER’ and Shimada ate a LOUD superkick! Damien kips up and it’s a superkick of his own! ‘CONGLOMERATE KICK’ to Shimada! Noris wastes no time lifting Shimada up in an Alabama Slam and leaves Shimada ‘ABANDONED’ with a slam into the corner! Shimada stumbles out and was put out with ‘LEONS 22’ a brainbuster onto Damien’s knee! Noris and Damien were going move for move trying to one up the other! Noris shoved Damien away and tried to pin Shimada but was shoved off. Damien tried to get the pin instead but Noris shoved him away. Now the two of them are talking trash to each other with their foreheads touching as they rise from the mat to a standing position still jawing. Damien thrusted his head forward and modifies a headbutt which spins Noris around holding his face, but he nails the ‘A JUTSU’ rapid fire knife edge chop backing Damien into the corner where he finished it off with a spinning backhand in rebuttal! Damien stumbles out of the corner and gets ‘RESET’ with an ace crusher! Noris has it!

THE BOYS WEREN’T LYING! #NOWTRENDING dragged the referee from the ring and threw him face first into the ring steps. Noris can’t figure out why the referee’s hand didn’t hit for a third time and he turns to see Brad and Chad waving playfully to Noris who is BEYOND frustrated at this point. Noris leaned over the ropes and trashed the guys pointing a finger in their general direction. The brothers mocked him and wiped their faces from the spit they allege was flying from his mouth. Noris turns back around and Shimada is there lifting Noris to his shoulders and running towards the turnbuckle rolling with a fireman’s carry slam. Shimada jumps to the middle rope looking to finish the moonsault for ‘THE LONGEST YARD’ but Damien charges in and dips underneath trying to hoist Shimada who is latched onto the ringpost but #NOWTRENDING hit a double superkick to loosen his grip. The boys then separate and run down opposite sides of the apron to meet Shimada with a kick to the back of his head as he got turnbuckle bombed! Brad rolls the referee into the ring as Chad sneaks around ringside and grabs onto Noris’ boot who wasn’t taken out completely from the Shimada move – but Damien covers

ONE
.
.
TWO
.
.
THREE!!!

DING!!! DING!!! DING!!!

WINNER: Damien Miri via Pinfall (16:24)

The scene opens to the back where one of the newest signees to King’s Road, Tyson Gregory, is standing backstage. He’s in his street clothes, black hoodie and white track pants, since he’s not scheduled to compete tonight. He smirks confidently at the camera, soaking in all the spotlight that is now on him.

GREGORY: “I could go on and on about my many accolades. Like how I dominated FSociety as its World Champion or how I won the GWA Global Championship and then defeated every big name that GWA had to offer. I even beat Cosmo Cooper on my way to winning the Gulf Coast World Championship and won countless other championships in tag and extreme divisions. I busted my ass all around the wrestling world and the Twitter news of my signing here in King’s Road made all kinds of waves in the company. But you know what all of that means now that stepping foot here in King’s Road?”

Tyson shrugs his shoulders slightly and smiles.

GREGORY: “Absolutely nothing. Sure, my career is a nice a fruitful thing so far but as soon as I signed my name to that King’s Road contract… None of what I did elsewhere matters. I’m not so dense and close minded that I think what I did elsewhere means shit here. What I do here? What I do once I get my chance to shine in that King’s Road ring? That’s what fucking matters. I came here because this place has some of the best talent in the entire industry and I’m looking forward to taking on each and every one of them in the ring and prove my worth.”

He tilts his head slightly, his smirk growing.

GREGORY: “That’s what’s different about me, some people might think I’m willing to live off the legacy that I created for myself but the fact is, I only look to build it more and continue to prove myself as one of the best to ever step into a fucking ring. That’s why I signed here. I am going to use King’s Road to show and prove my worth… And that starts on the show… When I finally get my chance to show who the fuck I am… In the middle of that King’s Road ring.”

Tyson offers up a simple wink to the camera before turning and walking off.

MAIN EVENT
JETT WILDER, NERIAH HOLST & JAYSON WAVE VS. MALIK FOX, KAELAN LAUGHLIN & LAURYN WOLFE

With all six competitors in the ring things were certainly ready to get underway. Malik Fox stood across the ring from the three men who scorned him. Jett Wilder, soon realizing what was happening, did his best to appease the former champion. Jett quickly tried to make amends, but it was too late! Malik struck out, knocking Jett Wilder down onto his ass! Kaelan and Lauryn quickly jumped in, attacking Neriah and Jayson Wave. Lauryn put the boots to Jayson, while Kaelan took Neriah down with a Hip Toss. The three men get up and immediately go after Malik Fox, beating him down until Lauryn attempts to make the save. She is quickly swarmed by the numbers, the crowd booing the King’s Road Champion as he looks on in confusion. Kaelan makes the save, climbing up onto the top turnbuckle and taking all three men down with a Crossbody! The match soon begins to break down, as Kaelan picks a fight with Jett. Kaelan places Jett into the corner, attacking him with lightning fast chops! Jett, having his breath taken from him violently, collapses to the mat and rolls out of the ring. Kaelan doesn’t see the Running Single Leg Dropkick come in from Jayson Wave, as he blasts her with the kick! Eventually Neriah gets the better of Lauryn on the outside, as Jayson puts Malik down with a Dropkick. The three men work well together, using a combination of moves to beat down Malik Fox and Kaelan Laughlin. Jayson Wave tries a Leaping Cutter from the top turnbuckle on Lauryn Wolfe, but she dodges the attempt. Jayson eats a Shining Wizard from Lauryn, and a Running Knee Lift from Kaelan!

Neriah is in the ring next, attacking Kaelan from behind with a Double Axe Smash. Kaelan can’t do much, as Neriah slams her down with a Falcon Arrow. Neriah isn’t able to pin her, though, as Malik Fox makes his way into the ring! The crowd cheers, as Malik cleans house with a Powerbomb, tossing Neriah halfway across the ring! Jett Wilder tries his hand, leaping off of the top turnbuckle with a Dropkick. Malik catches him too, drilling him with a Sitout Powerbomb! A Buzzsaw Kick breaks up the pin, as Jayson Wave is barely able to make that save. Jayson tries attacking Malik, but his Forearm Shots don’t do much. Lauryn tosses Jayson to the outside, and takes him out with a Suicide Dive! Kaelan finds her way back into the ring, and takes Neriah out with a Going Out In Style! The pacing continues to pick up, with both sides gaining control and losing it. Neither team seems to be getting a footing in the match, as nobody can get a pinfall long enough. The match continues on, but eventually one side is able to break through. Jett watches as his team begins to lose control, as Malik and Kaelan work together inside of the ring. Malik lifts Jayson up for a Powerbomb, as Kaelan connects with a BLOCKBUSTER FROM THE TOP ROPE! On the outside, Neriah tosses Lauryn into the Announce Table, knocking everything down! With no other options, Jett Wilder does the one thing he can think to do. With Malik distracted, Jett enters the ring with his championship in hand. Malik turns, as Jett knocks him out with the title! The referee immediately calls for the bell, as Jett stands there with a grin on his face.

WINNER: Malik Fox, Kaelan Laughlin & Lauryn Wolfe via DQ (16:24)

Jett quickly gets out of the ring, taking his championship with him. Lauryn and Kaelan look on in frustration, as Kaelan calls for Jett to come back to the ring. He taunts her, lifting his title up high for her to see. Lauryn checks on Malik, as Kaelan stays focused on Jett.

JOHNSON: ”Jett Wilder, you sneaky bastard! He knew he wasn’t going to win this match, so he throws it!”

VASSA: ”Brilliant move by Jett!”

JOHNSON: ”I don’t know how brilliant it is to piss off so many people like that. Speaking of pissed…”

VASSA: ”Oh shit, look out Neriah!”

Malik gets to his feet, and notices that Jayson and Neriah are still hanging around ringside. The two didn’t really notice him get back up, until it’s too late. Smokey looks to Malik, and puts his hands in the air. Watching his manager step back, Malik smirks, as he charges towards Neriah. Leaping out of the ring, Neriah watches as Malik cuts him off from leaving. Jayson tries to help, but Malik clobbers him with a Forearm! Lauryn and Kaelan get out of the ring, keeping Neriah from leaving as well. The three toss Neriah into the ring, as Malik gets revenge with BLESSED! “Day ‘N Nite (Just A Gent Trap Remix)” plays as Malik Fox stands tall in the ring, standing over Neriah Holst.