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Offline Arizona's Most Wanted

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You Have No Chance To Survive Make Your Time
« on: September 19, 2016, 04:50:57 AM »
[We open up inside of a Hospital hallway, where we find your Hero and mine, Adrian Tanner Junior, making his way towards one of the rooms in the back. Whatever's he here for, it doesn't look like it's a happy occasion. But then, hospitals usually aren't. He stops at a door, knocking twice before entering inside and quickly shutting the door behind him. Inside we find Adrian's best friend, brother-in-law and "Manager Extraordinaire" Brandon Young laying in a hospital bed, arm laying against his chest in a cast. Next to him sitting in a chair are an unfamiliar red-haired woman and a tiny brunette child coloring on a piece of paper. It's probably a better drawing than Maddox Lucien could ever create, and she's four.]

Adrian: Hey guys, sorry I'm late.

Brandon: Adge.

Olivia "Olive" Young: Unca Adwian!

[Brandon winces in pain but nods at his closest friend's arrival. The woman and the little girl hop up from their seat. The tiny one darts over to Adrian arms out, and he reaches down and pulls her up into a hug. The red-haired woman, most likely the child's mom, stands next to them, smiling.]

Kaycee Young (nee Tanner): Heya little brother.

Adrian: Hey kiddo, Kayc. How's it goin?


Olivia: Good but Daddy hurt his arm!

Kaycee: Hurt it pretty badly, didn't he Liv? But it's okay. Daddy's a rebel, he'll bounce back from it in no time. Right guys?

[She glances between Adrian and Brandon, who both nod.]

Brandon: Sure will!

Adrian: If I know your dad, and I do- he's gonna be back to tormenting me with ridiculous schemes in no time.

Olivia: Yaaaay!

[Adrian shakes his head, laughing.]

Adrian: Not really something to celebrate in my case, but I'll let ya have it.

[Adrian bends down to let Olivia down, who quickly makes her way back to her crayons. He steps up closer to the bed.]

Adrian: So how bad is it, man?

Brandon: Pretty bad. Dude jumped me in the locker room like a bi- 

[Kaycee motions to Olivia before he finishes that sentence.]

Brandon: -iiiiig jerk. Ripped my arm apart. Gonna be in this thing for like 2-3 months. It suuuucks.

Kaycee: Yeah but you'll have me and Liv to baby you, ya baby.

Brandon: I didn't say there weren't perks.

Adrian: Man, I wish I woulda been there. 

Brandon: Don't. Don't do that. It was my fight. I screwed up, it's my thing to deal with, ya got it? You're my best friend, my brother, but you ain't my protector! I can handle my own daaaarn thing.

Adrian: Alright man, sorry. You're right.

Brandon: Darn right I am!

[He goes to pump his fist, with his hurt arm, then sucks in a deep breath to stop himself from shouting in pain.]

Brandon: Man, what's a guy gotta do for these fuckin' meds to kick in?

[Kaycee's eyes open wide as she goes to cover Olivia's ears.]

Kaycee: Brandoooon, not in front of the baby.

Brandon: Oops, sorry Kayc.

Kaycee: It's alright love, just, sheesh.

[Kaycee laughs and shakes her head.]

Adrian: Yeah man, don't fuckin' swear in front of your daughter.

[Kaycee glares at her brother.]

Kaycee: Adrian.

Adrian: Oops, shit.

Kaycee: Adrian!

Adrian: Shit!

Kaycee: Adrian!

Adrian: Shit!

Kaycee: ADRIAN!

Adrian: Shit! Oh my god somebody help I can't stop-

Olivia: Thit!

[All eyes turn towards the tiny munchkin who's crawled up onto her mom's lap, wide grin on her adorable face.]

Olivia: Thiiiiit!

[Kaycee's eyes go from her daughter to her brother to her daughter to her brother again. If looks could kill Adrian would be dead five times over by now.]

Kaycee: I. Am going. To. KILL. You!

Adrian: Weeeeeeeeellllll, looks like it's time to exit, stage right even.

[A cartoon burst of smoke is the only thing left of where our Hero used to be standing. Kaycee gets up from her chair, placing Olivia on the ground next to the bed.]

Kaycee: Brandon, do you think you can watch your daughter while I go end my brother?

Brandon: Ho-okay, unicorn-lady!

[Brandon says, a far off look on his face. The meds finally kicked in.]

Kaycee: ...On second thought. C'mon Livvy.

[She bends down and pulls Olivia up into her arms. The little one looks directly into her mom's eyes before-]

Olivia: Thit!

Adrian, clearly listening in from outside the room: Gah damnit!

Olivia: G'damnit!

[Kaycee glares a hole at the door. If looks could burn holes in doors- well, you get the picture.]

Kaycee: Sweetheart, we're gonna have a looooong talk about why that's a no-no later.  But for now-

[Kaycee exits the hospital room, sighing when her little brother is no longer standing outside of it. She shakes her head and walks down the hallway.]


[A few minutes pass and we're following Adrian again, who's made his way further into the hospital. He checks for Kaycee-sighting before quickly stopping at a help desk.]

Adrian: Hiiiii, you... wouldn't happen to have sort of medication for a woman who may or may not be your sister who's coming to kill you for accidentally teaching her child swear words, would you?

Nurse: ...What?

Adrian: What? Nothing! Thank you!

[He continues walking, darting out the nearest door leading outside the hospital itself. He rounds a corner and stops by a little park area. Making sure the coast is clear, he turns to the camera.]

Adrian: Well this is, uh, this is a fun way to spend my afternoon!

[He shakes his head with a small chuckle.]

Adrian: Y'know what isn't fun though?

Maddox Lucien.

[Stares directly into the camera for a long moment.]

Adrian: For a guy who's supposedly an "ex-CIA agent" you sure are kind of an idiot. Look man, we don't give a shit about your life's sob story, or what you're doing in other places. Now I know, someone with some actual form of brains might retort that call me a hypocrite because I bring up shit from the past or shit in other places a lot myself but here's the thing- when I do it there's a reason for it! It's match-relevant to the here and now, because you know what they say right? Those who don't pay attention to history are doomed to repeat it.

When you do it, well- It meant nothing. You rambled on for four hours in the whiniest voice possible about how "oh the AA will probably bring up THIS thing about me, or they'll make fun of me for THIS thing, or they'll say THIS because I did something in the long long ago!" And yeah, in normal circumstances I would absolutely mock the shit out of you for those things but when you're suuuuuch a whiny fuckin' pissbaby about it on your own? I feel less inclined to do so on the merit of it's kind of embarrassing. So, congrats I guess? You might be the first person that's TOO embarrassing for me to mock to my full potential. That's a new one, honest.

[He does another quick check to make sure he's still safe before continuing.]

Adrian: And that was before you decided to have the 4CDub tech gurus delete your promotional stream from the site and throw a babyfit. The rumor come out: Does Maddox Lucien is a little bitch? 

[Slowly shakes his head affirmative.]

Adrian: Man, I was really hoping that once, just once, since I've stepped foot in 4CDub that I could've had an opponent or opponents I could've respected and had a friendly banter session with. I honestly thought that could've been you guys, Maddy. I even gave you guys props last show and this is how you repay me?

Fuck you, man.

Last show, Johnny and I set a goal for ourselves. It was a lofty one, outlast 7 other teams and win an entire one-night tournament as an untested team in our first outing together. We came up short in that goal, and honestly? I'm okay with it. You win some, you lose some. I take issue with Jason Cashe being a bag of dicks in the Finals and letting the Donaldsons walk out with titles that really shouldn't be theirs right now, but whatevs.

This week? Goal already accomplished. We were in your head before you even hit record, and we'll be even further in there when you're laying on the floor unconscious after we put you out of everyone's misery.

[He grabs his phone out of his pocket as he feels the text buzz go off. He opens a picture message that shows his sister's arm holding a small children's basketball with "you" over a trash can. He quickly does another check around the area for any sign of her before continuing.]

Adrian: Candy, I'm begging you- Begging you, please don't be an idiot like your "partner." I still respect you, even if I don't understand your choice in partners, and the three of us can still have a fair, fun match, even if we're going to have crush Maddy into oblivion while we do it. But you can avoid that fate, Candy. I show respect where it's due, and I'm showing it to you, again, in the hopes that you don't turn out to follow the same pattern as the majority of my "opponents" in 4CDub since I joined. I'm hoping against hope that at least one-half of Mad Candy won't be a total fucking failure of a human being. And if I can get that, I call the night a win.

You know, aside from the Actual Winning part.

[There's the smirk.]

Adrian: That's not just the usual bravado, I'm afraid. Your partner's already mentally checked out, and I know Johnny and will be more than happy to kick his ass out the door and into the trash where he belongs. But again, you don't have to share his fate. We can still have a good fight. I want that, I'd imagine Johnny does, and I hope you do too.  And if you do? Well, I look forward to sparring with you.

Maddox. Die in a fire. We're going to wreck your shit so bad your "former employers" won't even be able to use any of their fancy ass spy software to figure out what or who you used to be. It's gonna be a glorious shitkicking for the ages, and YOU'RE the main event! At least you can be proud of that, amiright?

[He shrugs.]

Adrian: I wanted to say more here, I really did. I wanted to go into the usual point-counter point fun of promotionals and tear verbally rip Maddy's head off but if he's gonna be a fuckin' baby and whine his way out the door then I just- don't care. What should've been a fun exhibition between two of 4CDub's three actual tag teams turns into essentially a two-on-one affair and while I appreciate and respect Candy? Yeah she ain't stoppin' me and Johnny. Not this week. Not with this asshat of a partner she has. I'd apologize to Candy for not taking her more seriously but- *shrugs again* You picked him. You have to deal with the consequences of your own actions.

But like I said, we'll go easy on you.

[His phone buzzes again. He looks at it and sees a picture of the exit sign from the door he recently left out of. Another quick scan around and he's back at the camera.]

Adrian: Welp, that's my cue to leave. I know some people might be wondering, why am I more scared of my older sister than I am of like, three-fourths of the 4CDub roster? And there's a simple answer for that. I KNOW she can kick my ass! You assholes? Eh. data's still pending. Beat me? Maybe. Everyone has off days, even me. But really kick my ass? Nah man, there's only a few people who can do that.

[Out of the corner of his eye he catches sight of a familiar red-haired female. Apparently she's dropped Olivia off somewhere, maybe one of the daycare sections given the earlier photo of the child's basketball.]

Adrian: She's one of 'em.

But for now, I should probably call it a night. Hopefully next show I can finally get an opponent who isn't a total dickbag. But I'm not holding my breath.

Kaycee: Adrian Matthew Tanner, you stop right there!

Adrian: ...See you, Space Cowboys.

Oh and- burn in Hell, Maddox.

[Adrian takes off at a mad dash out of view. Kaycee charges past after him.]

Kaycee: Oh no you don't!

« Last Edit: September 19, 2016, 04:51:29 AM by RevolveR »