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Author Topic: Light up the Night  (Read 435 times)

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Offline Arizona's Most Wanted

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Light up the Night
« on: November 07, 2016, 03:12:10 AM »
Voice Over: "The following ridiculous endorsement has been paid for and produced by the Organization for Ridding the Earth of Stupid People. The OFRTEOSP is a subsidiary of [NEXTWAVE] Incorporated. Adrian, if you see this, I'm sorry. This was not my idea. Blame Brandon for everything."

Brandon: Oh hush, he's gonna love this.

We open on the sight of a large multi-story office building in the sunny "winter" climate of Arizona. A plaque inside the front door to the building reads "The Organization for Ridding the Earth of Stupid People." Standing next to the plaque is one Brandon Young, manager extraordinaire and probably soon to be ex-best friend of YOUR XTV Champion Adrian Tanner Junior, dressed to the nines in fancy clothes and looking like the shilliest shill that could ever shill. He adjust the rayband sunglasses over his eyes with his not-broken arm before giving a phony smile to the camera.

Brandon: Hi,  I'm Brandon Young, Executive Vice President-

Voice Over: Hah! You wish!

Brandon's squints his eyes in the direction of the voice over's... voice. Which is, yknow, in the empty void so he's squinting his eyes at nothing. After another moment of squinting in annoyance, he continues.

Brandon: ...And I'm the EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT of the Organization for Ridding the Earth of Stupid People. Here at the Organization for Ridding the Earth of Stupid People we do our best to... rid the earth of Stupid People.

He shrugs as if that should be the most obvious thing ever.

Brandon: Are you feeling under whelmed by the amount of stupidity running rampant throughout the hallowed halls of 4CW?

Do you wish there was someone, anyone, literally anyone at all out there who had the integrity, the HEART to be a true champion of everything righteous and pure in Professional Wrestling?

Does your brain hurt seeing all these supposed "kings" and "queens" running all over acting like they're the gods of everything when half the time they can't even win a fuckin' match without their significant other saving their asses at every chance and opportunity?

Does your heart feel heavy when you see the sad state of affairs of the Main Event scene with a world champ who couldn't buy a win outside of Title defenses even though he didn't technically actually defend the title the last time he was supposed to, burning his opponent to death or nah?

Well then boy, do WE have the solution for YOU!

A big grin crosses his face, throwing both of his fists up in the hammiest double thumbs up, ever, as pyro and sparklers go off inside the building around him. A giant banner unrolls from the ceiling, showing Adrian Tanner Junior super-imposed over an image of the Earth, which is sat on a giant American flag in the background.

Brandon: Vote ADRIAN TANNER JUNIOR for CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING and you too can have a Champion worth his salt! Someone you can look up to! Someone who's not a total turd of a human being.  Someone who can put up a STOP to the edgelords and drama llamas ruining your great federation through the power of Burnination and- wait, no forget that last part. Through the power of BEING FUCKING AWESOME at what he does, he will lead all of us into the PROMISED LAND of a new day, a new generation of prosperity of 4CDub!

He walks down a hallway, still grinning like an idiot. More things explode around him in glory and celebration. Someone should probably call the fire department- or the bomb squad- but this is a NEXTWAVE promotional so that's not likely.

Brandon: The GREAT DARKNESS is COMING, folks! The ULTIMATE EVIL (the bad kind of evil not the Johnny kind of evil) is on its way to take Jair Hopkins Title and the ONLY way we can stop it is if YOUR HERO, Adrian Tanner Junior takes it for himself first!

And the BEST way for us to that, my fine friends, is to get out there and make your voices HEARD! Tell all your friends, tell all your enemies, tell everyone who will listen- WE WANT ADRIAN TANNER AS CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING! Only THEN will we be safe from the awfulness of the JPDs and Eli Carlsons of the world! Only then will we be able to PURGE THE EVILS of the world with our NUCLEAR-POWERED DEATH MACHINES-

Wait. Did I say that part out loud?

Uh, shit- Forget that part too.

He waves his hand at the screen like Obi-Wan.

OBran-Wan Kenobi: You heard nothing. These are not the murder machines you're looking for.

...Shit. You didn't hear that part either.

He waves his hand across the screen in the opposite direction.

Brandon: DID YOU KNOW Eli Carlson once kicked a toddler in the dick! YEP! Then he and JPD stole the kid's Halloween candy. I have it all on tape and you can too for this LOW LOW price of $59.99!

CAN YOU BELIEVE Sativa Naveah spends her off time moonlighting as Pennywise the Clown at Stephen King Movie recreations? Yep!  That's true HORROR right there!

WOULD YOU FIND IT interesting to know that Hashtag Da Troll Guy is an ACTUAL TROLL disguised as a human being?! We know where your pot of gold is hidden Troll "guy" and we're coming for it just you wait!

He pays no mind to the fact he's talking about leprechauns and not trolls, but then what the fuck is he actually even talking about anyways? We just don't know.

Brandon: That's why it falls to us, my friends! WE must work together for CHANGE! For the GREATER GOOD!


Brandon: So go, my compatriots! Go and vote Adrian Tanner Junior for CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING and help me help you SAVE US all from impending DOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Well, at least things have finally stopped exploding around him, so that's a step in the right direction. He finally seems to be coming down off of whatever manic high he's on as he waves to the camera before heading for another door at the end of the corridor.

The door he exits somehow leads onto a rooftop, which Brandon pushes open, slamming a random water bottle down onto the ground.

Brandon: I did not hit them, I did not hit them! I swear! Oh hi, Adrian.

ENTER our Hero and Champion, Adrian Tanner Junior, sitting in a chair randomly holding a football.

Adrian: What the fuck are you doing?

Brandon: A bad The Room parody?

Adrian: No- Not that.

Adrian gives a confused glance at the football suddenly sitting in his lap, which he quickly throws to the side.

Adrian: This.

He gestures at, well, everything.

Brandon: Helping your ass out, as usual.

Adrian: And as usual, very little of your help is actually helping. You do understand that for like the first time since I joined 4CDub I'm facing someone I don't immediately hate and wish death on and I'm trying to not be a complete asshole to, right?

Brandon: Yeah.

Adrian: Which is why you're doing everything in your power to BE an asshole?

Brandon: ...Yeah pretty much.

Our Hero palms his face.

Adrian: I hate you.

Brandon: I'm kiddin' man. Learn to take a joke, geez. 'Course I know what your deal is, I wasn't tryin' to mess that up. But I thought with the whole election thing coming up, I just thought, y'know-

Adrian: I know you mean well. But, yeah no.

Brandon: But-

Adrian: I SAID, yeah no.

Yeah, no.


Chicago, Illinois.
A Hotel room overlooking the chaos in the streets below

It's a few days past the end of the World Series and the streets are still packed with people, crazed fans probably taking the celebrating too far but who cares? It's been 108 years or something, let 'em celebrate. Your Hero and mine, and YOUR XTV Champion, Adrian Tanner Junior, stands next to the windowsill of his hotel room, staring down at the carnage wearing the usual casual ensemble and a black t-shirt with an outline of a Championship belt over one shoulder and "Your Title Here" written inside the outline. The 4CW XTV Championship is seated on a mini table next to him. He starts to speak while staring out at the crowd.

Adrian: You know, I'm not really a sports fan outside of Pro Wrestling. Couldn't really care about the NFL or NBA or what have you. Don't really care about Baseball either but man, this is historic right here.

He gazes down at a couple people passing by who seem to recognize him with a friendly wave and a smile.

Adrian: I'm not trying to come off like some kind of Bandwagon fan or something, that ain't the case. But sometimes you just gotta- experience something like this first hand.

He gestures out the crowd, and the camera again pans out to the giant sea of blue on the streets below before returning to our Hero, who has now turned to face the camera.

Adrian: Sometimes you just have to go and drown yourself in the all the excitement and giddiness pervading through crowds like these. I was down there all day today, talking with fans, listening to their stories of where they were when their Team made History. Listening to people gush about how important a silly game of baseball was to them, to their livelihoods.

And it was pretty fuckin' cool.

A fond smile crosses the Arizona Assassin's lips.

Adrian: That right there? (points again to the crowd behind him) That- is why I do what I do. That right there, is why this match is so important to me.

Yeah it's a non-title match but I win here and I'm even closer to a chance at a REAL match with you, for that World Championship you covet. And a chance to give something like that to all the people who believe in me. All the people who chant my name day in and day out. I win here and I get one step closer to giving some star-struck little kid the chance to tell the world where THEY were the day Adrian Tanner won the 4CW World Title!

Eli Carlson made the mistake last week in claiming that I do this, I bust my ass day in and day out, give my heart and soul for this business, for praise. That I do this seeking the knowledge that people care about me, pay attention to me. But that's NOT why I do this at all! I mean yeah it's a part of it- I'm a glory hound what can I say?- But the BIGGEST reason? Is because I was like these people! I was one of them! I grew up in this business, literally, but I grew up around my idols. I was the little punk kid they spent pity time on because my big brother was their running buddy in various promotions. But I was always there- cheering them on, living vicariously through their triumphs and sharing the sadness of their defeats.

I know what it feels like to watch your favorite gain the ultimate success, or to watch them suffer in utter tragedy.

I do what I do, for glory, yes. Because I am a warrior, a fighter. But I do it just as much for the thrill of knowing, or hoping, that someone out there sees in me what I saw in my older brother and the rest of my heroes. What the people behind me see in the 2016 Chicago Cubs. That I can give someone a brighter day by, y'know, kicking the shit outta the bad guys.

There's the trademark smirk.

Adrian: And sometimes I have to kick the shit outta the good guys too. I am an equal opportunity shitkicker, like any true warrior should be.

And that's why I have to win this match, Jair. One reason, anyways.

A loss to me here, that doesn't change anything for you. You're still the Champ. The only thing it changes for you is who you might have to defend that belt again on the horizon. You're almost bulletproof, unless someone has the right ammunition- But we'll get to that.

Another casual wink to the camera.

Adrian: A loss for ME here? Personally? Doesn't really bother me. I lose, and I lost to the World Champ in the main event of Adrenaline. Nothin' to sweat, right? Except-

Except I've spent the better part of the last month having to listen to every Tom, Dick and Eli tell me I'm nothing. I'm a nobody. I'm not worthy, in their eyes, to be here, to be in their good graces. I quashed a lot of those thoughts at Fright Night when I kicked a bunch of those dorks in their faces and tossed them into ladders and shit but a loss to you, here, only a week after that big performance? And the bullshit starts all over again. They won't let me live it down.

That's reason number two.

He shakes his head, letting out a slightly annoyed half-chuckle before refocusing on the task at hand.

Adrian: We both want similar things outta this match. We both want to prove to the phony "royals" that we are the real deal, that we're each as capable as we believe we are. And I have no issue with that. I want this match to be a thing of beauty. I wanna go out there and go HAM with the World fucking Champion and I want us to steal the show and make Eli and JPD and all the rest question their own existences in this business because we are that fucking good at kicking each other's asses.

But I guarantee you I want it more.

What am I going to do with my "shot," you ask?

I'm gonna reach out and take it.

That same determined look he had at Fright Night crosses his features as he stares into the camera.

Adrian: One bullet or six, it matters not. I've won more with less, I've done less with more. My Revolver is a precision machine, that I've fine-tuned to the absolute best of its abilities. It's a cold-blooded night ender and I have used it to finish off every single major obstacle that's ever stepped foot into my path. You are one more obstacle that my Golden Gun has to snuff out, or at least wound for three seconds, and I look forward to doing just that.

He turns away from the camera only briefly, to reach down and pick up the XTV Title, placing it on his shoulder. Then he looks back into the camera. Into your soul.

Adrian: What am I going to do with my "shot?"

It's a trademark now and you should see it coming as he points the hand at the camera in the form of a gun. He positions it directly in the middle of the camera lens, as if calling his shot right between your eyes. He leaves the 'gun' situated there for a long moment, letting the silence and his determination permeate the air and the scene. Then, he 'fires' the gun with his hand.

Adrian: It only takes ONE.