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Author Topic: Lemme Smash (Your Face) [SBB Promo vs Evil]  (Read 375 times)

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Offline Arizona's Most Wanted

Lemme Smash (Your Face) [SBB Promo vs Evil]
« on: April 27, 2017, 02:46:34 PM »
We open up to the sight of an indoor basketball court. Two sets of bleachers stand on either side of the court.  On the court, the Dandenong Rangers are busy with a full court practice- their last for the day before they head off for the next game. The view cuts to the top of one set of bleachers, where we find your Hero and mine, Adrian Tanner Junior watching the players on the court do their thing. He has on a custom 'Rangers' jersey with 'Tanner' on the back.

Adrian: Dandenong Basketball Stadium.

He leans back, elbows resting on the back of the bleacher seat as he stares out at the stadium proper.

Adrian: This place- This place holds a lot of memories for me, man. Shit, I probably spent most of ages 19 - 23 down on that floor on an almost weekly basis.

'Course, it looked a little different than it does now.

He chuckles slightly to himself.

Adrian: The Nut is the place I go when I wanna center myself, its my Chi garden. The Crown Casino, that was the sight of my first real big multi-level clusterfuck of a match which was an important event for me at the time. But Dandenong, this place?

This is Home.

He nods to himself, a small smile crossing his lips.

Adrian: Dandenong is the place where I really made a name for myself. The people lining these walls, they came to see good wrestling, and I did everything I could to make sure they left after seeing the BEST wrestling. Even when I was but a young pup in this business my goal -aside from you know, winning all your Championships- was the same. Put on the best damn show I can possibly put on so that when everyone leaves for the night they ALL go 'Hey that Adrian Tanner kid, yeah? Right good sport, yeah? He's gonna be a star someday.'

Good times.

Now I know right now you're probably asking yourself: 'but Adrian, why are you on our TV screens right now when you weren't even booked for South Beach Brawl?'

Well that's simple, Timmy. See a little birdy told me the man above -No not God. Wallace- decided to book a fun little bonus match for the show. See it's Me versus Johnny E! That's right, the Asshole Antagonists Explode!

And I'm gonna explode all over that punk bitch's face!


Adrian: ...


Adrian: ...Wait that came out wrong.

What I meant to say was, it's about fuckin' time honestly.

He shakes his head, a bitter chuckle escaping his lips.

Adrian: Evil's had this shit comin' for months now, and from me especially.

Now I know you're also asking yourself why I'm so hyped to beat the shit outta my fuckass tag team partner NOW when I've been so nonchalant about the whole thing in our various Adrenaline bits. And there's a simple answer for that too, Timmy.  See, guys like Evil -or rather guys like Evil wants to act like- they get off on reactions. They WANT you to react to their bullshit. I thrive on reactions too but the reactions that I look for are the ones of the fans in the arena, and all around the world, watching me do all the crazy awesome shit that only I can do! My need for attention is based upon a good thing. Though it benefits my ego it's off put by the fact that everything I do is for you, the fans who love and adore me because I am who and what I am.

HE does what he does because he's a selfish, miserable prick who wants to make everyone else be as miserable as he is.

His eyes stare into the camera, as if staring into Johnny Evil's soul itself. If Evil had any sort of a soul left at least.

Adrian: I learned very early on in my wrestling career, actually I learned it right here in this very building, that the best way to deal with guys like that is to, well, NOT deal with them. Nothing pisses guys like that off more than when you shrug off their hard work and show just how little it bothers you. And yeah, I broke my own rules from time to time because I'm passionate about my career and that passion seeps into everything I do but at the end of the day he wanted me ready to murder him and what he got instead was... bobble heads and cardboard cutouts.

A big grin crosses the Arizona Assassin's face, proud of his own ways of dealing with his fuckass tag team partner.

Adrian: Because I mean, honestly? Honestly. Of course I was fuckin' pissed at him. Of course I wanted to beat his ass into the GROUND. This fuckstick, who the fuck does he think he is!?

I was the one guy, the ONE GUY on the ENTIRE roster who ever gave a fuck about Johnny Evil.




You think Cashe gave a fuck about Evil just because he showed up to talk him out of retirement? Fuck no. All Cashe wanted was the spotlight. Tch, calls ME a spotlight hog and yet he doesn't even see Jason right in fucking front of him doing the exact same thing! What fuckin' bullshit.

His arms fold across his chest, a look of hurt mixed with anger on his face.

Adrian: From almost day motherfucking one, I was the guy who had your back, Johnny. I looked at us as kindred spirits. Two 'funny' guys walking into the dark dank whaaaaaargarbl mess of 4CW's locker room a show apart from each other. When Bad Company was announced I threw my name out there as one of the possible participants because hell, it's a Tournament AND a Tag Title shot? Both things I LOVE. But I had little thought of actually competing in it at first because nobody really 'fit' with me. Nobody would really 'get' me if we were to team up. Everyone's super-macho I R TEH GREETEST and nobody really wants to have FUN with their shit.

And then you showed up. And I watched you promo videos for the show and I watched your shit in-ring and I went 'huh, maybe we can do something with that.' And then before you know it, the Asshole Antagonists are born!

And all was as it should be. I had someone who had my back, someone who's back I could watch in return, and a running buddy to run roughshod over the rest of the fucks in the company. Win-win in my eyes.  And I thought in yours. Boy was I wrong apparently.

Eyes go rolling.

Adrian: The dumbest, most cliche bitch in the history of the planet not named Genevie Carlson got you locked up on fake as fuck murder charges and instead of, I don't know, fighting it, you just sat there and took it. After she kidnapped your fuckin' daughter! Who DOES that?!

You did, Johnny.

But in all that time, I never ONCE gave up on you. I did everything I could to make sure people remembered the name of Johnny Evil, remembered who the Asshole Antagonists were so that when you got out of 'prison' we could get back to doing what we set out to do and take the Tag Titles for ourselves. I talked you up constantly. I visited you in 'prison' when I could. I was your boy.

But you were never really mine.

Squints at the camera as he wring his hands together, popping his knuckles.

Adrian: If we were ever really boys you'd have never knocked me into Cashe like you did. If we were ever really boys you would have never thrown me under the bus like you did. All this bogus bullshit about me being a spotlight hog, me taking your glory from you, what the fuck even man? All I ever did was be your friend.

And you rewarded me by stabbing me in the back. Almost literally. I imagine if there was a knife in that ring you would've actually done it.

He shakes his head again.

Adrian: So yeah trust me, though I may have acted like it didn't bother me as much as it did- it really did.

But I was, as always, a patient man. I knew a day would come when your reckoning would be at hand and I was content to wait for that day. Because we had bigger fish to fry, didn't we? Almost immediately after you stabbed me in the back like the fuckass you are we got thrown into that Tag Title match, and hate you or not I was damned if I wasn't gonna walk out one-half of the NEW Tag Team Champions of the World!

And from there, we found ourselves in the Cup. And it was my intent, my goal, that it be me and you in that final match so I could kick your teeth down your throat. And everything else that would fit down it too.

But fate dictated we would have to wait on that. So wait I did, again.

A small smirk begins to creep across his features, slowly but surely.

Adrian: But the time for waiting is almost at an end, Johnny. The hour of your deliverance is at hand! And it's gonna to be a fun, fun 'hour' Johnny. I'm already thinking of lots of fun things I can do to you in an I Quit match. Ask Jagi Shiro what happened to the last guy I wanted to all but murder in the middle of a wrestling ring. He thought was sooooo cool ambushing me in my locker room, beating me to a bloody pulp. Thought he got one over on me reaaaaal good, thought there was no way in hell I'd show for our match after the 'epic' beat down he gave me.

Then I hung his ass from the cable they put title belts on during ladder matches. Alllllll the way up, twenty feet in the air.

He motions with his arm high up over his head as if to explain what he meant.

Adrian: He wasn't laughing too much then. 

That smile's getting creepier. You've never seen this side of Adrian before.

You brought this on yourself.

Adrian: See I do funny bits, make jokes, use guest stars from the 80s because that's me and that's how I like to portray myself. That's my personality. I'm the funny guy. But there's another thing you don't know about me, Johnny. 

I was baptized in blood.

Right here in this building, in my third or fourth match of my career, the Hellhounds tore my back apart with barbed wire, bled me like a stuffed pig. Then for some insane reason I followed the Hellhounds and their master Hardkore Jonnie Valentine to the aptly named Hardkore World where I had to deal with tournaments fought in rings with barbed-wire wrapped ropes, exploding C4 death matches, glass table matches. I watched the MVCII break someone's neck in the middle of the ring and nobody so much as batted an eyelash. Someone's career almost ended on a monthly show-to-show basis.

And through it all I was in the thick of things, learning violence from the masters. I tried to be the outlier, I really did. I was still the star-studded fly-through-the-air-with-the-greatest-of-ease Best Light Heavyweight in the Business that I am here today, but when you're around that kind of violence on a monthly basis it gets to you. Changes you. Makes you look at yourself and what you're willing to go through to be the best this business has to offer.

You claim the 'Evil' moniker is because of Evil Knievel. That it's because you're innovative, death-defying, yadda yadda yadda. Bitch you don't even know the meaning of those words. I saw innovation with my own two eyes. I watched people defy death every show. I defied my OWN death more than once. The goofy Elvira-looking fuck who didn't beat me for my XTV title would be laughed outta the building for being a fucking poser. Dakota Smith is awesome, but he's a pale comparison to Matthew X. Or Lucifer Jones. Or Kilroy Evans. Those were guys who innovated. Those were guys who knew how to defy death. Those were guys you wanted to be, but also kinda scared the shit outta you.

He rubs his hands together.

Adrian: Those are the guys I grew up around.

I don't bring that side of me out very often because I don't like that side of me. It takes me to a bad place and it's hard to come back from once I'm there. Which is why I save it for fucks like you.

Like I said, I'm a patient man. And this time my patience was rewarded because now, I get to show you just what I think of everything you've put me through since that fateful night a couple months ago. All I showed you was love and respect and now I get to pay you back for the 'love' shown in return, by kicking your face in from pillar to post, and everywhere else we can get to that has face-kicking potential. What's a fun, healthy asskicking between 'friends,' right?


This isn't the usual beatdown preview where I talk about how I'm gonna pick you apart, set you up and knock you down with the Revolver and walk on to my next victory. This is gonna be bloody, 'friend.' It's gonna be violent. And I have no doubt you're gonna do everything in your fuckass power to give to me as good as I get but that's okay.

I want  you to.

It's no fun if you don't fight back after all.

There's the smirk again.

Adrian: I'm gonna do everything in power to bleed you dry, Johnny. I'm gonna use this match, use you like you used me, and I'm gonna take allllll my frustrations out on your fuckass face. From Sativa to Bronx to Queef to you- I got a lot of shit to get off my chest and your chest is gonna be the one that feels it the most. Along with all the broken ribs and everything else I can break.

By now I'm sure you've rambled on about all of those losses, hyped yourself up because you made it further in the Cup than me, you're a real boy now oh boy! Haw-haw! 

Doing his best Mickey Mouse impression.

Adrian: For all the success you've found since you betrayed me you've still only done it off of my back. If Wallace's dilhole 'son' hadn't been against me in the first round it woulda been me n' you in the finals because there was nobody in that tournament that was worth a damn outside the two of us. But Wallace gets what Wallace wants.

And now Wallace wants me to crush you into tiny little daredevil bits. And while I'm starting to actually agree with fuckin' Eli of all people when it comes to Wallace-

He shivers. The thought of agreeing with anything Eli Carlson says makes his skin crawl but when it's the truth it's the truth.

Adrian: -I'm willing to do him this one solid. Because if there's anyone out there who deserves it, it's you, motherfucker.

There's only a few things I don't tolerate in this business, Johnny. You don't fuck with my family, and you DON'T turn your back on me. You BETRAYED me and for what? What did it actually get you?

A World Title shot? That's Dilhole's.

Tag Titles? You're still partnered with me fuck ass we would've ended up with them anyways.

What exactly did you gain by turning your back on me? Nothing.

And that's what you're gonna walk away with at South Beach Brawl. If you can walk away at all.

An audible 'Tch' and then another cold, hard stare into the camera.

Adrian: For all your boasting, all your grandstanding all your 'new you' shit you're still the same old Johnny. Still can't get the job done without me by your side. And hey, when it comes to defending our Tag Titles I'll be by right there.

But right now? I'm going to enjoy every single punch that connects with your stupid punch-able face. Every single kick, every single suplex, ever DDT, every time your face hits the mat and your nose comes that much closer to shattering into a million pieces. Every 'crunch' sound your bones make. I'm gonna enjoy all of it. I told you right after it happened that I would beat some sense into you if I could. Well now I can -and I WILL.

And it will be glorious.

He pauses for a moment, a lightbulb going off in his head. Then he continues.

Adrian: There's a passage I got memorized, Evil.

He grins again.

Adrian: "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny, of Evil men.  Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.

He makes a gun motion with his left hand, pointing it directly at the camera.

Adrian: And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.

And you will know my name  is the LORD ARIZONA ASSASSIN, when I lay my vengeance upon thee!

He 'fires' the gun, and the screen shatters into darkness.