June 04, 2020, 10:05:51 AM

Author Topic: Oh Mother! I can feel the soil falling over my head.  (Read 258 times)

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Offline Riley Savell

Oh Mother! I can feel the soil falling over my head.
« on: November 08, 2018, 08:01:24 AM »
I know it's over
And it never really began
But in my heart it was so real
And you even spoke to me and said:

"If you're so funny
Then why are you on your own tonight?
And if you're so clever
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very entertaining
Then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so very good looking
Why do you sleep alone tonight?
I know because tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they are in each other's arms"

Tuesday, November 6
Nightfall Fights Training Facility
Las Vegas, NV.

Rhett showed up to Nightfall, the gym he and Riley both came up in, which is also the place Riley asked Rhett to meet her. Rhett decided to show up twenty minutes early, thinking he’d get a head start, but Riley was already there. The lights in the gym weren’t even on but Riley didn’t let it deter her. It was clear she was determined to clear her head. Rhett dropped his gym back near the wall before he walked up to Riley, who was currently making work of a punching bag with a plethora of strikes and kicks.

“Here I thought I was going to get here early and get a head start to prep for this but I should’ve known better. You always were the only person to beat me to the gym every morning.”

She finishes the combination she was working on before stepping back. She’d felt him come in before he even spoke, an accused awareness of her surroundings was something that had paid off for her in the ring, as well as training. After finishing up, she snatched up her towel and patted her chest, turning to look at Rhett with a shrug.

“The gym feels like home to me, I’ve always been able to find peace here, no matter what else is going to shit.”

“I’m the same way.”

He nods.

“And that’s why I asked you here to begin with, because I knew it would be good for you.”

Rhett takes a few steps closer to Riley as he keeps his eyes on hers.

“Just to be clear, I’m not here to give you advice or to pamper you. I know that’s the last thing you want and I’m sure you have had enough people trying to do exactly that. I just want to help make sure that your mind is where it should be, where it always should’ve been, and that’s on your career.”

She rolls her eyes and pushes him back, swooping down to pick up her water bottle, she swallows some water before tossing it, shaking her head and turning her back to him.

“So you’re here to tell me how this was all bound to happen, because he could never understand. Blah blah blah...”

She starts to strike at the bag again, her words punctuated with solid punched and kicks thar echo through the gym, her exhale of effort splitting her words.

“Save it, I heard it. I don’t need to be pampered and I don’t need my focus monitored. Ash made a choice, the same choice he’s always been free to make. I walked away, people seem to forget that part, I know my worth. I knew it with him, I knew it with Blanche and I know it now.”

Rhett laughs lightly.

“You do huh?”

He furrows his brow before shrugging his shoulders.

“Then what is it? What’s your worth? I want to know.”

She scoffs and shakes her head.

“Worry about your own worth, last I checked you’re the one flailing and I’m the Champion in this gym, so why don’t you tell me how you’re going to prove your worth?”

He laughs and shakes his head.

“I know what my worth is, but I do know that I need to step up and prove myself again. That’s how it goes in this sport, you know that. As for you? I know you’re a champion and that you’re proven, I just wanted to know how you viewed yourself, since you said you know your worth, after all.”

She slams one last kick into the bag before she turns and looks him over.

“I’m the best fucking rookie this sport has ever seen and I know it. Not just because I’ve held more championships in a few months than others have on years, not just because I adapt and learn every time I have a match, but because I sell tickets. People show up to see me, hate me or not, they want to see me perform.”

She chuckles and shakes her head.

“People need a bad guy to rally against, I give them that and I do so to my own gain.”

“You’re right about that. People love to hate the bad guys and they pay to see it.”

Rhett can’t help but smile as he nods.

“Nobody does it quite like you though, do they?”

He chuckles before he walks up to the bag and leans on it.

“I mean, you went as far as to setting your best friend’s sister on fire. That’s pretty brutal.”

Riley shrugs, she looks completely emotionless in response.

“Kenzie was in the way and she needed to be an example as to what happens when you get in MY way, Meg got over it, pretty fast... I don’t see the big deal.”

She grabs up her water again and takes another sip.

“People always want me to be or say sorry, like I should regret being who I am... but most the time if I say sorry, it’s-a lie.”

“I think it’s time you show the world the real you. Not just part of the Villain, but the entire thing.”

Rhett steps closer to her and peers into her eyes with his.

“You don’t have anything holding you back anymore and you don’t need to pretend that you’re sorry, you don’t need to lie to make others feel better about themselves. Do what’s best for you, which is the worst possible thing for everyone else standing in your way... and release the Villain completely.”

She smirks and shakes her head.

“You don’t get it, do you? The villain isn’t me, she’s another part, another mask...”

Riley stead back and sighs, running a hand through her hair with a shake of her head.

“Sometimes I’m not sure I know who I am anymore.”


Rhett lets out a sigh as he shakes his head for a moment.

“You’re only 22 years old, you’re not supposed to completely know who you are yet. I’m still trying to figure it all out myself, you know? But you’ll get there, hell, we both will, I know it. But you don’t have to rush it, you just have to keep on fighting.”

She chuckles softly and nods her head, kicking the bag right next to where he stands with a loud slap.

“I never stop fighting Rhett, I might give up on a lot... I might lose my way, but I never stop fighting.”

“I know... That’s why I’m here.”

He smiles before he nods towards one of the rings in the gym.

“So, are you going to show me what you got? It’s been awhile since we got in there together and spared.”

She smiles and steps up close to him, jamming her finger in the middle of his chest.

“No funny business Adelson.”

He grins and leans forward towards her.

“Me? Funny stuff? Why would you think so lowly of me!?”

He laughs and shakes his head.

“You know I’m all business in there but you better not try anything funny either! You know you have a thing for the #1 fuck boi!”

Rhett can’t help but laugh as he refers to the list that Harvey made on twitter earlier. She shakes her head with a smile and shoved him back, picking up her sparring mits she starts to pull them on as she rolls into the ring, a slight groan as the roll makes her head rattle.

“Fuck... I’m a little more delicate this morning than I thought I was.”

Rhett puts on his sparring mitts as well before getting into the ring and standing up.

“Well in that case, let’s just keep it light for this session, yeah?”

She nods slightly, her head touching to her forehead as she looks a little pale now, she leans back against the turnbuckle and takes a deep inhale.

“Yeah, yeah good idea.”

Rhett takes his mitts off and throws them to the side before he walks up to Riley and places his hand on her shoulder.

“Hey now... I think you might’ve overdone it with that bag before I got here. How about we skip this and you take a seat? I’ll get you some water... and have you eaten anything yet?”

At the mention of food she gags slightly and shakes her head.

“Bi kept force feeding me yesterday, don’t really have an appetite yet this morning... I drank a lot more than I meant to because of that shit with the old hag.”

She drops down to sit in the corner, leaning her head back against the ring post and closes her eyes.


He laughs at the old hag comment before he sits down next to her, leaning his side up against the ropes.

“Well it looks like you might need to take it easy for the next day or two. How’d you get here anyway? An Uber or did you drive?”

She smirks.


A half shrug as she half opens her eyes to match.

“The air felt good in my lungs and I didn’t wanna wake Yas making phone calls or ordering cars... she’s been worried enough the last 24hrs, poor kid.”

Rhett frowns slightly and shakes his head.

“Can’t imagine how tough it must be for her. But hey, at least she’ll always have you to lean on, and that means she’s a lucky girl.”

He smiles and nods.

“So since you walked here, do you want a ride back? Or I could walk you back. Whichever helps the best.”

She shakes her head slightly, turning it to look at him.

“I just need some caffeine and then maybe we can get back to this, I can’t slouch or slack off... there’s too many eyes on me right now. Too many people waiting for me to fail.”

She closes her eyes again, a slight swimming sensation bringing a fresh wave of nausea over her. Rhett notices and he immediately grabs her hand and places his other hand on her back.

“I don’t want to argue with you but I can tell when someone isn’t completely all there and it’s obvious that you need to lie down. Just for a couple of hours and when you’re up to it? I’ll be right here for you, ready to spar and help you get ready for your next match.”

He smirks and leans forward as he talks in a low, secretive tone.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that the great Riley Savell decided to take a day off.”

She laughs and before she can stop herself she throws up right there in the ring and all over his shoes. Immediately pulling back she groans.

“Ah fuck, sorry... fuck...”

She looks around for something, picking up the towel thrown over the turnbuckle with another groan.

“Of course, this is my life now.”

Rhett isn’t bothered by the vomit, probably becoming desensitized of it during his time in the marines. He places his hand on Riley’s back and rubs it as he grabs the towel from her hand with the other.

“Hey... Go drink some water and lie down on one of the trainer beds and I’ll clean up this mess. Then once you rested up a little, I’ll bring you home.”

She sighs softly, leaning her head back against the post for a second to catch her breath.

“Sorry... I didn’t...”

She trails off a little, it’s obvious it’s not really the alcohol making her sick but more her body finally hitting That wall after everything that’s happened, after a minute she slips out of the ring, but she doesn’t go to the trainer room, she just lies down on the mats, pulling a towel over her face.

“Fuck... FUCK.”

Rhett grabs the cleaning supplies before he quickly cleans up the mess, including his shoes, which is the hardest part to clean but he manages. He sets them to the side to dry before he grabs a Gatorade and sits down next to Riley.

“Come on, you need to replenish your electrolytes after throwing up like that. So drink some Gatorade for me, yeah?”

She groans from under the towel, slowly sitting up with a slight sway to he movements, finally she takes the bottle from him and begrudgingly sips it, her eyes on him the whole time.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from... I’ve never, never done that before.”

Her eyes are finally focusing fully and she blinks a few times, running  hand over her face.

“Fuck, it’s all just... why does it hurt like this? Why can’t it all just fuck off like he did, the feelings, the hurt, all of it... I don’t want to feel like this.”


He places a hand on her shoulder and rubs it reassuringly.

“Sometimes there isn’t an answer for things like this. Some people, like Asher, are capable of just picking up and moving on. I don’t understand how someone can even do that but I’ve had it done to me before as well, and then you’re just left there to pick up the pieces on your own... wondering why it all hurts so bad for you and not them but all that means is that you’re a human who truly cares about the people in your life. As for that pain? You gotta let it in and let it process. The worst thing you can do is run and hide from it because eventually? It’s going to get you. But you’re stronger than that and you can handle anything thrown at you, I know that for a fact. You’re going to be okay.”

She pulls her knees up closer to her chest, resting her arms across them and presses her forehead to her forearms, trying to mask the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“This isn’t me, I don’t wallow. I don’t let people get inside like this, I trusted him... I fucking trusted him and all he did was manipulate and bully me until I didn’t even recognise my reflection in the mirror. Every single day I woke up and I tried to be what he wanted, what he needed... I gave up so much if myself and all I got back was lust... I wanted him to understand Rhett, I wanted him to see how much all of this takes but the more I tried, the harder pushed, the more he rolled back into work...”

She pauses to gasp in a deep breath that burns her lungs.

“Everyone thinks they know what the fuck happened but they don’t. I don’t even know what happened Rhett, it was so good and then it just... it wasn’t.”

Rhett sighs as he runs his hand over her back.

“Hey, you can’t beat yourself up for this. I don’t know too much but from what I gathered from seeing things from afar, he wanted to to change and follow his life style far too much. When he married you, he knew what he was getting into. He was marrying someone who isn’t just beautiful, but someone who is passionate, someone who works harder than anybody I’ve ever known... someone who simply wants to be the best. Once the honeymoon phase was over between you two, the bad stuff just got worse. He probably thought he could change you, which is fucking foolish, because nobody should want to do that nor could they. You’re perfect the way you are. It’s not your fault he always wanted it his way. You deserve better and don’t you forget it.”

She runs her hands over her face, shaking her head slowly.

“I’m not perfect Rhett... I cheated days before the wedding. I... used things against him, I’m angry and jealous and sometimes I don’t know what I want. I wasn’t perfect, I’ll never be perfect I just...”

She looks back down and shakes her head, her voice breaking with emotion.

“I thought love would be enough to overcome all of that...”


He places a hand on her cheek as he peers into her eyes.

“Your Love was enough. It’s not your fault his wasn’t, okay? He gave up, he let you and Yasmine go through his fingers like you were nothing. He didn’t deserve you two. Seriously.”

She hesitates and pulls back with a half nod, pulling herself up to her feet she sighs,pulling her hair up off her neck and looking down at him.

“Love ain’t enough Rhett, you can have all the love in the world but without everything else? It’s just bound to die... Yas has already been through so much and now she has split parents, all that kid ever wanted was a family and I failed her.”

Rhett stands up and shakes his head.

“You didn’t fail her. Yeah, it’s not as perfect as you wanted it to be but she has a better life than she could of ever had without you and it’s not done yet. You can still do so much more.”

He sighs and shakes his head again.

“I know all about failure, Riley. I failed the Marines, my comrades and my family and I let that failure control me for far too long. You can’t let that happen to you.”

She frowns slightly and drops her voice to just above a whisper.

“I didn’t mean... I’m sorry. Fuck my heads just so scrambled right now and I need my friends but I just keep pushing them away with this self absorbed bullshit.”

She takes a couple of steps back, reaching for the bag she came in with, swaying some as she leans down and picks it up.

“I just... I need to process, this is the first day I’ve really felt it and as stupid as this sounds, I miss him... I miss who we used to be.”

Rhett steps forward and gently places a hand on her arm, just in case she loses balance from swaying.

“Missing him and how things were is natural and you’re right, you need to process this, but in the right way. So do me a favor and try not to drink all the pain away, alright?”

He places his hand on her shoulder and offers a smile.

“And you do need your friends, which you know you can add me to that list of people to lean on. As for pushing me away? Trust me, I can put up with whatever you throw at me. I’ve got your back, through thick and thin, I promise.”

She smiles with a small nod, sliding her bag onto her shoulder.

“Yeah, less drinking… definitely less of that. I need to get back to focusing on the things that are important and part of that, is processing and of this so I can get past it. I can’t afford to let this affect my career, people are already expecting that from me.”

She nods slightly towards the door.

“Thanks for this… I really needed to talk.”

He smiles and nods.

“No problem. Would you like me to drive you home?”

She finally relents, sighing she nods.

“Yeah, actually… if you could.”

He smiles as he walks to the door of the gym and holds it open for her.

“I definitely can. I actually wasn’t going to take no for an answer, anyway!”

He lets out a light laugh before grinning. She smiles back at him and nods slightly.

“Honestly, doesn’t surprise me. You’ve always been a stubborn little shit.”

It's so easy to laugh
It's so easy to hate
It takes guts to be gentle and kind
It's over, over, over

Love is natural and real
But not for you, my love
Not tonight my love
Love is natural and real
But not for such as you and I, my love

Oh Mother, I can feel the soil falling over my head