December 02, 2020, 12:49:13 AM

Author Topic: WILLIE PETE ALSO HAS A STATEMENT TO MAKE AHEAD OF ADRENALINE 109  (Read 889 times)

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Offline THE Willie Pete


WILLIE PETE ALSO HAS A STATEMENT TO MAKE
AHEAD OF ADRENALINE 109

ATTENTION: JACOB SOL AND HIS LONG HAIR, SAD HIPSTER BEARD, AND DAD BOD


At Adrenaline 109, Willie Pete will face Jacob Sol. First off, let’s pretend that Willie Pete somehow appreciates Jacob Sol’s accomplishments so far. That’s not even really an insult. All Jacob has done so far is act like a total newb on Adrenaline and make himself look seriously weak. Like, really? He might think his little moment endeared himself somehow, but in reality, it made him look completely out of his element and sad.

What we’re going to offer Jacob Sol is an opportunity of a lifetime. All Jacob Sol has to do is pay Willie Pete an undisclosed (hefty) fee and Willie Pete will simply fall to the mat once the bell rings and allow you, Jacob Sol, to take the pinfall. It’s that simple.

Willie Pete needs money and lord willing, you have money, Jacob.

In case you don’t have money, which is highly likely, given your history of having Boston’s ‘mean streets’ be ‘unkind’ to you, we have an alternative option: Willie Pete, despite being twice your age and very near dementia-brand confusion and sadness, will beat the ever-loving shit out of you and probably be the first and last opponent you face at Four Corners Wrestling. Why? Because simply you will never live down the embarrassment of losing to someone so completely confused and unprepared.

Willie was quoted as saying:

I’d settle for gift cards if they’re substantial and handed over ahead of time. But no fruit bouquets. Those are ridiculous and go bad way too fast.

Thank you for your time.

- Alexis